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Make The Time | #marriedlife

Over the past month, I’ve been sharing more and more about the importance of the day Thursday, with some of my married friends. “What’s so important about this day”, you ask? Well this is my standing “date-day” with my Boo Bear, and it’s off limits.

Keem and I learned early in our marriage just how important it is to “make the time” for each other. During our pre-marital counseling, our marriage mentors made sure that we picked a day and stuck to it! We’re nearly 4 years in, and Thursday is still our day!

Life gets so busy, that we sometimes overlook the things/people we’ve been neglecting. Now of course keem and I see each other every day, but we made a decision to make INTENTIONAL time for each other!

Each Thursday looks different. Sometimes we coordinate workouts, and hang out in the house. Sometimes we go grocery shopping at Wegmans and stop to eat at the hot bar. And other times we plan full out date trips to amusements parks or to dinner and a movie! What we do doesn’t really matter, the key is to spend time together… intentionally! Phones down, work put away… just me and my Boo Bear!

Now, this is not a new topic on the blog, but it’s totally worth repeating!

Take a look at your marriage, and ask yourself, “when was the last time my honey and I actually made plans to hang out”? If you’re finding it hard to remember specifics, a date day is in order! Now I know you may have “life” going on… but what is life if you’re not building with your spouse? And if you have kids, what will you have to stand on once the kids are grown, if you haven’t spent any time together?

Remember, it’s not what you do that’s most important… although it should be fun and enjoyable! It’s who you’re doing it with… and being intentional about that time together!

Make every effort, to make the time!

Reese

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3 Birthday Lessons for the Wise Wife | “I Wasn’t Ready” #MarriedLife

A few weeks ago, I took some time off to celebrate my hubby’s birthday!  I thought I knew what he wanted, and tried to plan accordingly. #Girlwhy. In the end,  after a really good look in the mirror, I learned 3 valuable lessons that I DID NOT SEE COMING (Do y’all see that picture… #ACCURATE)! Don’t get me wrong, we had a great time together, but with the way God has my life set up… there is always a lesson waiting for me around the corner! 

Lesson 1: Listen

I love to celebrate birthdays. I was raised that way, and it is something that has been a part of my entire life! Breakfast in the morning, and a family dinner of my choice at night to commemorate this special occasion! And if you know me, I usually prefer all the bells and whistles.  Keem on the other hand isn’t as big of a “birthday person” as I am. As a matter of fact he was very clear that for his birthday THIS YEAR he wanted to stay low key. But did I listen? Of course not. I just had to go on with my “grand” plans (insert  face-palm emoji)!

Well, my grand plans fell through, and I put unnecessary pressure on myself by trying to come up with something last minute. I had great intentions, but if I’m being honest, I totally disregarded his birthday request (insert face-palm emoji).  So I had to make thing right, and I apologized for not listening. I even had to apologize for making him feel OBLIGATED to come up with something when I asked, “what do you want to do for your birthday”… when he ALREADY told me.  I’m so thankful for this lesson, and grateful that it didn’t ruin our time together.  Oh, but what stress I could have avoided had I just listened from the jump! 

Ladies, I know sometimes we try to “read between the lines”, but let me encourage you… listen and take what your hubby says as what he means! Most often he is not speaking in coded language.

Lesson 2; Apologize quickly!

When you KNOW you’re wrong, make it right… QUICKLY! Many times our egos get in the way, (yes, women have egos),  and we let things fester. We look for ways to justify our actions, when deep down inside God’s conviction has already set in.  Don’t silence it… move as He directs. Repent, pray for the words to say and humble yourself. We, as women, are NOT always right! I’d love to say, I am… but that would be a WHOLE LIE!  Lord knows I am far from perfect, but I am learning to make things right, quickly.  Why? Because we already know marriages are under attack,  and the last thing you want to do is knowingly give place for confusion and discord to take root.

So ladies… apologize quickly. And to some of you… you need to apologize now!

Lesson 3; Honor the small things.

Over the past year, I’ve become more aware of the fact that Keem ACTUALLY reads those nutritional guides (you know, the information on the food labels/packages). Clearly, this is an important practice for him, but I couldn’t care less.  I’d rip open packages, and tear off labels with no regret. So, Here I was again,  disregarding my husband’s request because I  didn’t care about it (emphasis on “I”). Well God was at work, and it dawned on me that I needed to honor this “small” thing, and make the effort to keep the nutritional facts. If it’s important to him, then it is certainly worth the effort.

So the other week, after I opened a pack of brownies for Keem’s Birthday Sundae,  instead of throwing out the sticker that held the package together, I stuck it onto the container. Why? Because it listed all of the nutritional facts for the brownies! And do you know what this man said to me, when he saw that gently handled wrapper stuck to the package? He came and said “I know you love me, because you kept this sticker”. #winning

Now let me be clear. Of course it’s not about the sticker, or the nutritional facts, but rather the practice of honoring the needs of your spouse. Ladies, We don’t always have to go against the grain just because it’s not important to us. Stop dismissing your husband’s requests as “no big deal”. It’s OK to fully surrender, and put in the effort simply because it’s important to him.

Be Encouraged!

Reese

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To Remain Snatched | #goals

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🗣💕My forever goal: to remain snatched all of my days! 🗣💕

A short while ago, a lady complimented me on my physique. She said, “You must workout… oh, and you’re married?! I know your husband is happy… so many people lose themselves after they say ‘I do’”.

I’ve heard that scenario one too many times! The woman (and sometimes the man) looks fabulous leading up to the big day, and months later, “happy weight” settles in.

Well that’s not my story.

Why? Because my fitness is… for me! I’m not perfect, and sometimes I REALLY have to push myself, but it’s always worth it! And although my hubby loves it, I don’t workout for him! I do it because I want to and I need to… for me!

Yes… FOR ME! That is crucial!

Many times, we as women do things to please everyone, but ourselves! It’s not always intentional, but it can be so destructive if we are constantly striving to live up to the expectations of others (which can change in an instance). We must get (back) to that place of doing things for OURSELVES and to OUR Satisfaction!

I want to live long, and enjoy every moment of this thing called life! And I am extremely grateful to be able to enjoy it with my hubby… he reaps the benefits for sure!

I want to look and feel amazing in my body every single day! I want my clothes to fit to my liking and, quite frankly, I want to walk up to the mirror and love what I SEE… ME!

I want God to be able to use me! I WANT to LIVE and LOOK like HIS “royal priesthood”! It’s just that serious to me! You CAN serve the Master and look absolutely fabulous while doing it 👀🙌🏾💕 #snatchedforhisglory

Make the commitment to yourself… for yourself… and watch things TRANSFORM in you life💕💕

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🎥 Video| The One Cooking Lesson that Changed my Perspective |#marriedlife

Hey ladies! I’m back with another quick video🎥! Yaaaassss!!! I can’t help but keep it real! Check it out! I’m sharing a personal truth (#pleasedontjudgeme)… and talking about a very important, nearly life changing, cooking lesson from this past weekend! Enjoy and Be Encouraged!💕🤗💕

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Marriage Mondays with “The Fierce 5”; Michele Turner 🔥🔥🔥

Happy Marriage Monday, ladies! It’s week 5 of the “Fierce 5” series, and today Michele Turner is sharing, UNFILTERED! We’re going out with a BANG!  If you know Deaconess Michele, then you know you aren’t getting anything other than the truth! Yaaaassss!! Y’all I’m HYPED over here! The wisdom is screaming for her children to listen!!! So whether you’re hearing this for the first time, or it’s coming as a timely reminder, glean and Be encouraged! -Reese

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 How many years have you been married, and what has being married taught you?

November will be 31 years.  That marriage is a job you never get time off, sick leave or a vacation.   Enjoy the wedding day because every day after that is work.  What you put in your marriage is what you will get out of it.  Love covers a multitude of sin! After 10yrs of me committing adultery and this man still loves me as Christ love the church… I drop the mic😙

What are 3 key ingredients that have helped you build a healthy marriage?

Love, respect and just being who God created me to be.  Never lose yourself for a man.  Be honest don’t lie to yourself or that man everything you do in the dark comes to the light remember that.  Make sure you’re IN love with him and you don’t just love him like you love your family and best friend.  When you’re IN love you can survive any storm.

What word of advice/wisdom do you have for the young wife?

Have lots of sex. This releases stress, unless your husband is crazy.   Stop trying to live as if you’re still single, hanging out ALL the time with your old single friends.  If you don’t have  kids make sure your husband is uno #1. He should not have to be jealous for your time.  You’re on the phone all day but can’t have a decent conversation other than “how was your day”… (Red flag). Your husband pays more attention than you think.

What about the singles? What word of advice can you share to help the single women, who desires to be married?

Like and love who you are first you can’t give away what you don’t have.  Know “why” you want to be married because with God age ain’t nothing but a number.  Let him find you PLEASE!!!  Learn to be okay if God says marriage is not for you.

Anything else/advice/wisdom you feel led to share?

All the originals are taken, don’t be a copy cat.  Stop looking at the grass on the other side, it needs to be worked on too.  Seek God in all you do, don’t let Him be your last resource.  When HE speaks, listen. I drop the mic😙

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