3 Surefire Ways to Handle the Unsolicited Opinions of Others

 As a newlywed, a lot of people have an opinion about what my husband and I “should/shouldn’t do”, especially with regards to our first married year/holidays together. Nothing malicious at all, just opinions that caused a great deal of pressure. I got caught up at first.  Then it dawned on me; this is our life and we will live it as we please!  Some of you may have experience this same pressure.  You may have certain goals and aspirations in mind, and you’re trying to handle all the uninvited opinions that other have for your life. So I’ve decided to share what I’ve learned to do, and I hope it helps you as well:

1. Hold your peace: Peace of mind is more important than the best of clap-backs!  Some opinions aren’t even worth entertaining,  especially when they come without provocation. It’s one thing to go to a trusted source, and ask them to dissect your life. When that’s the case, then I expect them to let me have it. Dig deep and help me get my life in order.  However, if I didn’t ask and it is not worth a response, I simply don’t entertain it. Especially when I know they don’t have my best interest in mind.

2. Use your words:  If you feel the need to respond, put your words to good use and create a standard response. Here are two of my favorites: “It’s unfortunate that your feelings differ from how I plan to live my life”, and  “No, I don’t plan to do it that way, but I appreciate your concern”.  Feel free to use at will, and proceed to exit stage left.

3. Don’t tell everything you know: This is probably one of the most important lessons I’ve learned! Keep your personal life, marriage,  goals and aspirations under lock and key. Yes, we all need accountability, but take a break from posting and sharing every detail of your life and hustle. Hustle in private, enlist the help of an accountability partner/mentor,  and let the results of your labor do all of the bragging. The less you share, the less access people have to your life.   If people don’t know what you’re up to, then they won’t have an opportunity to  create an opinion.

 

This is your time. This is your year! Make it count!

-Reese

Good-bye Fear… Hello Purpose!

 Happy New Year to you all!

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Stepping into 2016 with my head held high! (Looking up, for that is where my Help comes from.) Good-bye fear, anxiety, uncertainty, and confusion! You’ve been all up in my way for far too long, and you’re no longer welcomed in my life!  Hello vision, clarity and purpose!  I will accomplish all that I set my mind to do! I am embracing wholeness; mind, body and spirit!

Say it with me… “2016, will be my best year yet”!

Stay tuned and keep it stylish,

-Reese

#FierceandRefined

3 tips to help you regain/maintain a positive attitude!

 

 Have you ever noticed how easy it is to be negative? #frfr We live in such an imperfect world, encounter imperfect people, and often our imperfect situations get the best of us. The past week was particularly challenging for me, with regards to maintaining a positive attitude.   Like, I know I’m usually the one who shines light and looks for “the good” in the darkest of nights, but this past week it was tough! I had to pray and  consciously shift my thinking, my attitude, and my atmosphere!  It wasn’t a perfect shift, but I did it! And  I want to take a moment to share with you 3 things that I’ve embrace, that will help you  regain and maintain a positive attitude in the midst of the storm:

1.  Have your moment; then embrace the power of 3:  When life happens give yourself a moment to have a moment.  Cry (this is me), scream, and do whatever it is that you need to do to release that immediate rush of emotions that seemingly take over! But don’t stay there! After your moment call out three things for which you are thankful, (and I strongly encourage you to do this BEFORE you call or text your friends to let them know what has happened)! This will help you to refocus on the good in your life! For example, If you are in transition at your job, instead of focusing on all of the negative that has happened focus on the blessing of your present:

  1.  You have a job (some people were laid off)
  2.  You have a source of income (and the mind/resources to budget accordingly)
  3. You have everything you need to go after the career you really want (What are you waiting for?!)

2. Protect your aura: Misery loves company, and a complaining tongue is looking for a listening ear! So when “Negative Nancy“, “Lying Laverne” and “Gary the Gossip” huddle (or try to call you up) to discuss the goings-on,  beware!  Most often when you engage in conversations with people like this, all those negative thoughts begin to settle in and take over (especially if they go unchecked)!  And if you’re not careful,  you will begin to talk that same talk, and it will feel like quicksand trying to get out! Take it from someone who knows firsthand, and do your best to protect your aura. Surround yourself with positive people, who are able to acknowledge reality, and focus on the blessing of the “bright-side“. 

3. Always look to learn:  We all know this truth, but it is so easy to ignore.  Being able to looking at a situation, and focus on what you can/have learned,  takes real effort! But taking the time to learn from a mistake or disappointing situation is well worth it! For me, I like to write down what I’ve learned, or what I need to improve upon! Prayer is key with this step! 🙏🏾Taking the time to ask God what He is trying to teach and show you is the absolute best!  He is all knowing! And believe me nothing compares to having peace and clarity about your circumstances!

 Keep it stylishly Positive,

-Reese

 

The one thing you must NEVER ignore (#ReachOut)

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Have you ever thought about a friend or family member “randomly” while going about your day-to-day business?  You may  have been brushing your teeth, writing a proposal for a client, or driving home from work, and you just can’t shake the thought of wondering how they are doing.

When this happens, don’t ignore it!

Take the time to #ReachOut to that person… ASAP, and with a sense of urgency.  It may be a phone call, a simple text message, or even a quote of encouragement. Whatever you may feel the need to do, do it! I can’t even begin to count the number of times this has happened to me. When I took a moment to reach out,  the person truly needed it!  (Not to mention all the times my friends and family members reached out to me during my time of need, simply because I was on their minds!)

We never fully know all that a person is going through, especially during their low times. Stress, anxiety, and depression are REAL ISSUES! And often times we can be a source of light by simply checking in just to say, “you were on my mind”.  So today, I ask you all to  a vow and commit to making an effort to reach out when a person comes to mind! You never know, reaching out may be just the thing to change that person’s life!

Keep it stylish and #ReachOut

-Stylreesta