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Struggling with selfcare, momma? Get inspired with this list | 7 Thing I do weekly just for me!

If you’re a mom then you know creating time and space for yourself isn’t always the easiest. With all th things we have to manage throughout the day, more often than not we put ourselves last. One thing I’ve learned in my motherhood journey is that I am at my best, when I make the time for myself, and do the things that I love to do just for me!  Even if it’s just for a few moments, I am so much more present, grounded and just ready to face what comes my way when my cup is filled!

So, if you’ve been struggling to find the time for yourself, check out my list of the 7 things I do every week just for me, that keep me at my best!

1 Workout. 

Every week I workout. The benefits of working out, especially as a mom are unmatched! From a 3 mile walk, to a 20 minute HIT workout… I’ve committed to myself (and my accountability partner) that I will workout a minimum of 3 times a week, and its been everything I’ve needed. There have even been days when things just felt off, and  I set up shop for a quick 15 min HIT and it got me all the way together. My workouts are strategic and concise, and most often take place while Dream is right there, and it still counts as time just for me! I will always find time to maintain my snatch!

2. “Read”

Every week I’ve committed to reading a few pages a day.  My 2021 goal is to read 1 book every month, and I’m already 7 books in and we’re just getting to May.  Now this may be misleading because sitting down with a physical book doesn’t work for me, In this season of mommyhood. The secret?  I listen to my books and I’ve become well acquainted with Audible and Libby.   Yaaassss!  And let me spill this tea real quick…  these earbuds have changed the game, and only cost $20! Seriously, I love that I can turn on my app, put in my wireless earbuds, and listen discreetly while Dream is playing or while we’re on our walks and drives! If you haven’t switched to audio books, I Highly recommend that you consider!

3. Show up and Slay

If you follow me on social media you know I love to slay! I absolutely love to get dressed, I love makeup, and I love to look as good as I feel! So at least once EVERY week, I plan a whole look… sometimes I do it daily, depending on our schedule. I get dressed up, beat my face (sometime full glam), and I live my best snatched mommy life in the playroom with Dream. lol. Most times I have nowhere to go, and I do it just for me, because it makes me feel amazing! I no longer wait for an invite, or for the perfect moment to show up and slay. I create those moments for myself, and it’s been crazy fun.  Even on the days when I don’t feel my best, getting dressed is such mood and confidence boost! So weekly, this momma is going to show up and OWN it.

4. Create

I love to create content. So every week, I take the ideas I’ve gathered and batch create my  content. Video is my jam, I even created a whole Video Bootcamp to help women show up and slay using the power of video to build their own platforms! It’s been amazing. And for me, creating gives me so much life!  It’s an outlet, but it also fuels me. From creating videos for IG, blogging, creating courses and ebooks, and even just sharing my mommy journey….whether for 30 mins or 3 hours… I get so excited when I make the time and space to just sit and flex my creative muscle.

5. Uninterrupted Showers

Yes, I do shower everyday. I also  know some have said “this is basic maintenance”, but for me… enjoying an uninterrupted  shower and just getting lost in thought is soooo good for my mental! Most times my showers are super quick and efficient because I have Dream. But when hubby is here to take over, I’ve committed to enjoying a longer than usual shower at least once a week. For some this may look like a bubble bath. But seriously, I cry, I pray, I get ideas, and sometimes I just sit in stillness with worship on in the background. And every time I get to enjoy a shower like this, it  gives me the boost I need to continue to thrive as a whole mom!

6. Rest

I’ve never been one to sleep when baby sleeps because I usually have other things to tend to during those precious moments of freedom, lol… but thanks to my mommy schedule and the flow it has created for my life, I’ve been able to created space and time for myself to rest. I’ve committed to sit and pause once a week when Dream naps. I’m not always sleeping, but I told myself that I will sit in stillness, and rest for those 60-90 minutes while Dream sleeps. Ooooh, but when I do drift off into slumberland, it’s always blessed and anointed! lol!

7. Wine down

When hubby is on bedtime duty, momma is enjoy a glass of wine and relaxation. No work, no laundry… just a moment to breathe and release the day.  Some days “relaxation” is sitting on my comfy living room couch, staring out the window. Other days I’m on my deck letting the breeze grace my face.  And some evenings I’m curled up in the basement watching my fave episodes of Frasier.   No matter what, it’s always just what I need when I need it!

Momma what’s on your weekly  list? What are you doing just for you to keep your cup filled? How will you make time for yourself this week?  Comment below, or share on social!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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How to Take Action Today!

Yesterday I hosted a room on #Clubhouse titled “Momma, It’s Time to Take Action”.

What I know is that in many instances we as moms don’t take action because we feel like we don’t have the time Or when we do take action, we overwhelm ourselves trying to do it all at once!

But what would it look like if you took THAT BIG GOAL and broke it down into bite sized action steps? What would it look like if instead of thinking you have to do everything in one day,  you gave yourself a week… a month?

Let me give you a personal example! And you betta not judge me! lol

Okay, soooo….. Shortly after lockdown due to COVID, I quickly realized the need to implement a digital/virtual component to my business. I got this bomb idea to create a group program just for stylists (that’s who I was serving at the time).

Y’all I got right to work!  I set a start date for 10 days out (SMH), and starting thinking of how to show up online to attract people for the program! If you know me, you know I love video, so I started creating content, doing IG lives… like y’all I I was in grind mode.  I literally rushed to put something together to respond to the pandemic, and within 10 days I launched and I onboarded 5 stylists for my first ever group program.

WHEW!

Now on the outside looking in, that all seems exciting! Right? Responding to a pressing need and offering a dope solution in 10 days!

But can I be real… I was overwhelmed in the process!

▶️ I hadn’t fully communicated what I needed from my husband to support the times I needed to show up for calls. I was just making it work. (I’lll have to share how he felt in another post… Lawd!)

▶️ I wasn’t fully present with Dream, she was younger so it was easier to work while with her. (this was before I had my mommy schedule, and I felt so guilty looking at her little face… but I didn’t know better at the time)

▶️ I was completely burnt out by the time the program ended. Showing up, as a fairly new mom, without a clear plan of how my home would run while working and serving my clients… at the start of a pandemic! Whew Chile!!

And although I am grateful for the results I was able to help my clients achieve in the program, especially helping them to  increase their income in the midst of a pandemic (I’m extremely proud of that).  I also know that I could have done things differently, and been more intentional about planning, to ensure that I was taking care of me in the process!

I now operate completely differently!

My husband is aware of my plans and although support was never an issue, being clear about what I need from him makes his “job” easier, and we can avoid unnecessary tension.

With my mommy schedule, I have designated days where I can go all in working on my business, taking calls…I even have a set day to batch create content. I no longer have to sacrifice time with my family.

✨I am so confident in the transformation I bring to my clients, and I now know the value I add. Y’all I’m now doing for myself what I’ve done for my clients, and increasing my income without the hustle and grind. Like I said, there is a flow on this side… and it feels amazing!

So momma, again, I ask you…. what would it look like if you took THAT BIG GOAL and broke it down into bite sized action steps? I know it can seem overwhelming to get started… or perhaps you were like me and the overwhelm is coming from trying to do it all at once… without a clear plan. Lawd!

The vision doesn’t have to overwhelm you, and with a plan in place you can avoid the guilt of feeling like you’re stealing time from your loved ones! That, coupled with knowing the value you bring to the marketplace… girl… it’s a win all around!

Momma, the choice is yours!

 

 

 

 

 

Behind the Smile | Let’s talk about it!

I posted these two images on IG and I’m sure many of my followers weren’t sure what the actual emphasis was regarding “How it started vs. how it’s going”

In both pictures, from the outside looking in:

✨I look happy

✨Dreams  is happy, and clearly cared for

✨mom life looks good on me! right?! 

You see social medial will do that to you. Make you look like you have it all together when in reality you are fading fast behind the scenes.

That was me. Behind the smile, in the first image I was struggling. I was struggling with my purpose, and how to “balance” it all… my home, my child, my marriage, my businesses…etc! It was a lot. I was all over the place, I cringed at the word “schedules”, and quite frankly I didn’t think anyone could really relate to my situation. Yes, I had moms who prayed for me, offered amazing advice along the way…and moms I could call on (an often did) when I felt myself spiraling! But even with all of that, I so stuck, and my limiting beliefs were running the show. smh.

I remember distinctly having a conversation with my business accountability partner, telling her all the things “I can’t” do because I’m a mom! Listen, my husband goes out to work all day, my family lives miles away so it’s just me… and I convinced myself that there wasn’t enough time in a day to do anything other than “mom stuff”. Even though I knew I wanted M.O.R.E!!!  I literally talked myself out of the overflow God desired for me, simply because I couldn’t see past my current place of overwhelm. 

You see you can never manifest overflow, when you’re stuck in overwhelm. 

And for me that overwhelm became unbearable! I’ve shared this story several times, but I had a serious mommy moment on my bathroom floor… crying out to God saying “If You don’t take over, I’m not gonna make it”.

It was a true moment of surrender. It was not pretty… but oh my God I’m so thankful!

Since that moment, I’ve been doing the work to get my life in alignment. I had to address and dismantle the limiting beliefs that I’d let guide me in my mom journey, and begin to apply the principles of God’s word to implement systems and strategies  to create not only the harmony I desire in my life as a whole mom, but also to ensure that I never SIT in overwhelm or struggle again!

Will challenges come? Yes! Any mom who says otherwise is a whole lie… lol. We are moms, and things happen that are out of our control. This has nothing to do with perfection, and being in control of everything momma! The perfect mom life doesn’t exist! If it did we wouldn’t need God! What I’m talking about has everything to do with alignment, and learning how to remain in a place of victory throughout the seasons of motherhood! It’s possible, I’m a witness!

I’m super pumped for tomorrow evening! My self and some other mommas are gathering for an intimate training, where I’ll be sharing my proven 5-step process to overcome the overwhelm! This is the very process has transformed not only who I am as a mom, but more importantly who I am as a woman and child of God!

 

❤️I’m confident in my abilities as a whole mom. I can now say without hesitation “I’m a great momma, and I deserve the best”

❤️I’ve given myself permission to unapologetically manifest overflow in my life. No more waiting and wishing, I’m claiming and manifesting EVERYTHING I DESIRE!

❤️I’ve created routines and systems that support the work/life  harmony that is my promise as a mom! My life is in alignment, and the areas of my life from being a wife, business owner… even my wardrobe… all work in together and are in agreement!

❤️I’ve overcome mom guilt, overwhelm and burn out, and have strategies in place to help me to remain in a place of victory. God does not want me to sit in overwhelm, I am His daughter and I am more than a conqueror!

❤️ I am now a top priority in my life, and give of myself from a place of overflow. I make time for me, and hold the space to process, grow, learn, shift, release, receive and feel all that is needed on this journey of being. I love myself, and treat myself with the utmost care, love and respect.

I really don’t have much else to say, except to extend an invitation for you to join us! With just hours left before registration closes, I don’t want you to miss out! So click below to register today! 

You don’t have to sit in overwhelm, and I’m here to guide you to the other side!

Can’t wait to see you there!

 

If You’re Feeling Overwhelmed, This is For You!

Nearly 6 months ago… I’d reached my breaking point. I was sobbing on my bathroom floor, after spending nearly 2 hours unsuccessfully trying to put Dream to sleep. That was just the straw that broke the camels back.

I’d been trying to control it all (my housework, my marriage, show up in my business) and nothing was going how I expected…. I was fed up, frustrated, overwhelmed and felt guilty because I didn’t feel like I was being the best mom for Dream!

I didn’t feel like a good mom at all in that moment! It was rough and lonely!

I cried out and said “God, if you don’t help me I’m not gonna make it” 😭😭😭 for REAL! Thank God my hubby was there to take over, and I was able to heed the advice of my amazing sister to go sit in my car and take a deep breath! (thanks @mrstalley23 for that sound advice)

It was 11pm and although I was slightly worried about what people might think, I sat in my dark car and took that deep breath as instructed! The tears started flowing… they wouldn’t stop. I just sat there and  cried staring at my blue front door through my tears! Then I started to speak to God:

“God this cannot be the life You desire for me”.

“why would You call me to struggle”

“Why do I feel so inadequate”!

“Like… what am I missing? Please I need You”!

I’m so grateful for that moment (as unpretty as it was)… bc it led me to surrender, and become so much more active in my journey as a mom (the irony).  You see for a long while I was passively going with the flow, hoping and wishing for better, but not putting any action. behind my faith!

I talked a good talk, expressing the challenges and struggles of my mom journey… but up until this point I’d never actually taken the steps to experience the victory on the other side of struggle and overwhelm. It was familiar. (Crazy how we can sometimes stay stuck bc of familiarity. A whole word for another blog post)

Did God speak to me, not audibly… but I felt Him guiding me through the process of overcoming the overwhelm … it was not an overnight victory… I had to get super intentional about my life, my time; setting  my expectations,  realigning my priorities, and setting boundaries in place to support who I wanted to be as a whole mom and the life I desired for myself!

And I’m so proud of how my life has transformed, using this process!

❤️I’m confident in my abilities as a whole mom. I can now say without hesitation “I’m a great momma, and I deserve the best”

❤️I’ve given myself permission to unapologetically manifest overflow in my life. No more waiting and wishing, I’m claiming and manifesting EVERYTHING I DESIRE!

❤️I’ve created routines and systems that support the work/life  harmony that is my promise as a mom! My life is in alignment, and the areas of my life from being a wife, business owner… even my wardrobe… all work in together and are in agreement!

❤️I’ve overcome mom guilt, overwhelm and burn out, and have strategies in place to help me to remain in a place of victory. God does not want me to sit in overwhelm, I am His daughter and I am more than a conqueror!

❤️ I am now a top priority in my life, and give of myself from a place of overflow. I make time for me, and hold the space to process, grow, learn, shift, release, receive and feel all that is needed on this journey of being. I love myself, and treat myself with the utmost care, love and respect.

 

Although challenging, I’m so grateful for my journey, and the transformation I’ve experienced in my life… because it’s led me to create a whole 5-step process that I can now teach to other moms who are stuck in that same place!

Momma, if you’ve been reading this… nodding in agreement… near tears because you’re so over the struggle… then I invite you to join my for my upcoming training just for mommas who are ready to Overcome the Overwhelm!

On Wednesday, January 13th @ 7pm EST myself along with others bomb mommas like yourself are going to embark on a journey together like never before! Overwhelm is not your promise, and I’m here to guide you to the other side.

Simply click the image above or the link here to register and join us. And if you’re concerned about being able to attend live, a 7-day replay will be available.  I Cannot wait to serve you and show you how to Overcome the Overwhelm!

xx

Reese!

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3 Timely Lessons From My First Postpartum Wardrobe Audit

A little over 7 months in and I did it! I kept my commitment to my “no excuses” weekly workout plan, and hosted my first wardrobe audit. Yaaasss!

I gave myself the time I needed and refused to stress myself out trying to become a member of the “I snapped back in 6 weeks” club.  No ma’am not me! I came to terms with this truth, well before Dream arrived and I’m so thankful! So 6ish months in, I finally ventured in for a wardrobe audit, trying on some of my most prized wardrobe pieces. Here are three lesson I learned through that process:

1. Give Yourself Grace.

I’m constantly reminded to give myself grace as I navigate #momlife, and I’ve been very intentional about giving myself that same level of grace in other areas of my life… especially with my body. Listen, being pregnant changed my body completely (😭😭😭) and I’m embracing the process as I “bounce-back”. Girl!!! It has taken me nearly 6 months just to get to a place where I am even comfortable facing my closet, and that is okay. This is a process, and I refuse to rush it or add unnecessary stress. The only person I’m graced to keep up with is MYSELF. And on this journey, grace really has my guiding light! Give Yourself Grace.

2. Things around you MUST shift as your life changes.

My social life has changed. The way in which I conduct business is shifting.  When and where I go and how I am able to show up is no longer the same… so my wardrobe must follow suit. I knew that some of those special pieces wouldn’t serve me the same way as they did before I had Dream, so I had to get really real about what I wanted to keep. Ironically, as my life has expanded, I’ve decided to embrace a more minimalistic lifestyle. This means that I can only embrace the things that can serve me right now.  Yes,  I kept a few date night and girls’ night out ensembles.  But As my life has become more “demanding” with a baby, I made it a point to keep the majority of my wardrobe chic & edgy, yet comfortable and quick. Now don’t get it twisted, I am and always will be #SnatchedforHisglory! I Just had to pivot a bit. The idea is “grab and go”, while still being fabulous! Things around you must shift as your life changes!

3. If it doesn’t serve you, Let it go!

This goes beyond holding onto things that no longer fit. This is more so about holding on to things that no longer serve me. This is about that dress I wore when I went in for my first interview (that I haven’t touched in 2 years), and that gorgeous gown I wore for my baby shower (yes just a matter of months ago).  Those garments were seasonal and I need to thank them for what they did for me and release! Yes, they bring me joy when I remember when I wore them, but when I think of how to incorporate them into my wardrobe NOW… it’s a bit overwhelming. Almost like mental clutter, SERIOUSLY!!  They could easily be passed on to someone else for enjoyment! I know for some of us the mindset is “it’s in great condition”, or “I only wore it once”, but the real question is how will it serve you now? And if it’s causing mental clutter trying to sort it all out, release it!  If it doesn’t serve you, let it go!

Reese