Over the past month, I’ve been sharing more and more about the importance of the day Thursday, with some of my married friends. “What’s so important about this day”, you ask? Well this is my standing “date-day” with my Boo Bear, and it’s off limits.
Keem and I learned early in our marriage just how important it is to “make the time” for each other. During our pre-marital counseling, our marriage mentors made sure that we picked a day and stuck to it! We’re nearly 4 years in, and Thursday is still our day!
Life gets so busy, that we sometimes overlook the things/people we’ve been neglecting. Now of course keem and I see each other every day, but we made a decision to make INTENTIONAL time for each other!
Each Thursday looks different. Sometimes we coordinate workouts, and hang out in the house. Sometimes we go grocery shopping at Wegmans and stop to eat at the hot bar. And other times we plan full out date trips to amusements parks or to dinner and a movie! What we do doesn’t really matter, the key is to spend time together… intentionally! Phones down, work put away… just me and my Boo Bear!
Now, this is not a new topic on the blog, but it’s totally worth repeating!
Take a look at your marriage, and ask yourself, “when was the last time my honey and I actually made plans to hang out”? If you’re finding it hard to remember specifics, a date day is in order! Now I know you may have “life” going on… but what is life if you’re not building with your spouse? And if you have kids, what will you have to stand on once the kids are grown, if you haven’t spent any time together?
Remember, it’s not what you do that’s most important… although it should be fun and enjoyable! It’s who you’re doing it with… and being intentional about that time together!
Marriage is a beautiful blessing, but let’s not be naive. A healthy marriage doesn’t just magically grow, it requires real commitment and effort to blossom. Think of the grass on your lawn. You have to take special care of it for best results. So, you keep it trimmed and manicured, and you handle those unwanted yet inevitable weeds with a sense of urgency. A healthy marriage requires this same type of love and care. I’m still new in the game, but I absolutely love being married! My hubby and I are building a beautiful life together, and I’m so grateful for every lesson learned. We’ve been so blessed to see and understand some things early on, and I’m here to share the top 3 lessons we’ve learned as newlyweds! Enjoy!
1. Support one another
It’s become somewhat of a ritual for us to talk and dream together. We talk about our future, our goals, and our aspirations. Then we take it a step further and discuss how to support each other. I’m an aspiring business owner, and as I share the goings-on in my life, my husband is right there to keep me focused, encouraged, and grounded! And I do the same for him! This is what a partnership looks like. In marriage you have to understand there is no “I”, only “us”! Remember, you two are a team, and in many cases you will only be as good as your partner. So support, uplift, and encourage one another. It’s a win/win!
2. Share responsibilities
In our home, we learned the importance of sharing responsibilities. We are still working on coming up with a “routine”, but we both do our fair share of stepping up and stepping in when needed. Trust me it makes life so much easier! If my hubby gets home before I do, he will often take care of dinner. And if I’m cooking and not worried about him being in my way (lol), then he will step in and take care of the dishes. Oh and did I mention I haven’t touch a toilet brush in over a year? Yes ladies, my hubby exclusively takes care of the entire bathroom and I love it. And guess what, I’m more than happy to share that I take care of the laundry (wash/dry/fold). It’s all about balance, but it takes both parties to make it happen. Team work, makes the dream work. Find what works in your household. Be flexible and willing to pick up the slack in the name of love!
3. Don’t hide your habits/flaws
I learned my lesson here. For the past two years I’ve been waxing my upper-lip. And for my entire married life, I’ve been able to do this without my hubby knowing. Well, over the past few days I haven’t had a moment to myself to take care of my business. So the other night, I waited for him to fall asleep, before I snuck into the bathroom. Everything was going just fine. I was on my last strip, mid-pull, when I thought I heard my husband walking to the bathroom. In a complete panic, I quickly ripped off the wax strip and waited for him to bust through the door. I stood there for a good 30 seconds expecting the worst, but he wasn’t there. I finally peeped through the door, and to my surprise this man was still in bed, sound asleep. So there I stood, wax strip in hand…and nearly 1/13th of underlip skin missing. OUCH! All because I panicked and ripped it off trying to HIDE what I was doing from my hubby! And to make this all the more real, when I finally told him the truth about the scar under my nose, he was so unbothered. He even had the nerve to say “You can tell me these things, I love you.” What in the world? Where did he come from? The lesson here, don’t hide your habits, or the things that make you you! I’m not saying expose it all, bur remember, you two are one. No secrets, no hiding, be real and be you. It’s so freeing, and could save your skin!