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Our Trip to Sesame Place + A Lesson on Expectations

Y’all I learned a serious lesson about expectations over the past few days while away with my family. I learned that if not properly set,  and checked regularly, they can literally ruin a good time.

Let’s explore shall we…

So we decided to visit Sesame Place for some summer time fun. My little lady has been somewhat obsessed with Elmo the past few months, so I figured it only made sense for us to see him in person.

So I got our season pass, booked two nights at a nearby  hotel, and planned to have everything packed and loaded for  our adventure.

Well the day arrived. I got everything packed, and my little one surprisingly breezed through our nighttime routine. We we all set to drive through the night (during her bad time). All we had to do was wait for daddy, pack the car and head out.

Easy!

Y’all… once little miss got into that car… things got a little wild. I expected Dream to sleep during the 3 hour drive at night, but sis was looking like 👀 👀👀👀 for 99.9% of the ride. She basically said “these eyes ain’t finna close til we get where we going”! Lawd! Talk about a LONG drive!

After a long night (driving and in the hotel trying to get our little lady back to sleep), we all woke up refreshed and ready for our day. We met up with my sister who was joining us for the day, and made our way to Sesame place.

I expected the park to be nearly empty, but quickly realized I was wrong as we pulled up to see droves of people pushing their strollers and lugging their bags across the walkway. I’m like isn’t this a weekday? Isn’t the school year approaching? Isn’t this a pandemic?  Talk  about a total shock!

We get in, get our tickets, and I try to ease all the pressure by assuring myself that Dream was going to love it when she saw Elmo and all the rides! I expected her to run, skip and play. But sis was in observation mode most of the time. She wasn’t excited about no rides, barely flinched when Elmo came out… and seeing all those people… She was NOT IMPRESSED!

With all of this going on, I also expected my husband to have all the answers. I was tired, and didn’t want to think about anything anymore. But this… taking a toddler to an amusement park… was a brand new first time experience for both of us, and we were both figuring it out as the day went on.

It. Was. A. Whole. LOT!

I’m so grateful for my husband’s patience and  for Aunt Jess helping us to go with the flow, because with the way I was feeling idk we would have left sooner rather than later lol. (THANKS GIRL)

Here’s a glimpse of our day!

 

It wasn’t until that night, that I realized I needed to check myself. I apologized to my hubby, and just sat with God for a few moments to release all the pressure and frustration from the trip. I seriously don’t like it when things don’t go my way. I was disappointed, but I also knew I wanted to posture myself to learn from this moment.

The next morning, after prayer and talking to my therapist, I realized that I didn’t leave room for the “what if”.  I just expected things to go my way, and when they didn’t… I didn’t have any type of recovery plan in place, which led to my frustration and dissapointment.

Like…

I expected my little lady to sleep through the night on our drive… but I didn’t have a plan for what to do if she doesn’t.

I expected for my little lady to have the time of her life… but I didn’t prepare for how I would respond if she didn’t

I expected my husband to take over… but I didn’t communicate my needs or prepare for what to do if neither one of us had an answer

You see expectations aren’t bad, but we must be super careful that we are being realistic especially when we put those expectations on others (especially on our children, spouses and loved ones). I am an optimist by nature, I’m also learning when you travel with a toddler ALWAYS HAVE a back up plan… ALWAYS!!!!

I can’t control the circumstances, but I can control how I respond. I can also  have a plan (or two)  in place for what to do if things don’t go as expected.

I won’t get got again.

XX,

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I’m Starting to LOVE Being a Mom | Video + 3 things that helped me!

👇🏾Watch this👇🏾

1. Giving myself permission to “be” & set my own expectations! 

Knowing that who I am is enough, and embracing what that looks like in each area of my life has been life changing… especially as a mom.  I’ve had to seriously let go of chasing results just to validate myself in the eyes of others (this was huge for me this year). You see before I let go of all the pressure I was putting on myself to perform, I wasn’t embracing the now.  Sometimes, we get so caught up focusing on “becoming” that we don’t allow ourselves to enjoy actually being.  And that, momma,  will always rob you of the beauty of the present.

All of you is worthy and all of your journey is important.

 I truly believe  most of the angst and overwhelm we feel as moms come from trying to live up to someone else’s expectations. We put so much pressure on ourselves. We take all that we see in our community, hear from others, and consume in the media, and allow it to dictate what our lives “should” look like. And what’s wild is that we do all of this without even stopping to ask “is this really the life I want for myself”. Let’s change that.

The life you love is wait for you on the other side of  giving  yourself permission!

2. Embracing gratitude and grace!

I can’t explain it, but as I’ve been  spending time thanking God for my life and being specific and intentional about all that I’m grateful for, it feels like I have a new set of eyes. Like, I used to see my mommy challenges as insurmountable obstacles… like a legit  set up  (😭😭😭).  I now see them as opportunities for God’s grace to overflow, and for Him to help me to grow through it (So I guess it was a set up for God to show up🤭🙌🏾).  Being a mom Is not easy, but shifting my focus from the storm, to The Strong Tower… has made a huge difference in my life! I even look at my husband differently, but that’s a whole other topic for another post.

 Spending time in gratitude has also helped me to recognize, amplify, and enjoy the little things that add so much to my life, especially those moments I spend with my little lady. I laugh so much more,  I’m learning not to sweat the small stuff, and God’s grace looks amazing on me as I grow through my journey!

3 Acknowledging that I’m living the life that I prayed for!

At the beginning of every year, I have this practice of writing out my prayer requests and my vision for the year in the form of praise reports (Thanks to my sister Chris for the Inspo). Basically calling things that are not as though they are. (This is an excellent practice that I’ve helped guide my moms through. It’s been so rewarding, and many have already experienced the life they’ve been praying for, and the year ain’t even over yet!! I’m talking pregnancies, elevation in their businesses… time and intimacy with their spouses… it’s lit in our community)

Well don’t you know I was recently reminded of one of my “praise reports”, from a few years ago!  Here’s what it said:

Thank you Father, for the opportunity to stay at home and raise my family. Thank you that I’m not pressured to work, but my husband and I are stewarding our increase, and are in the position for me to stay home.

Like, do y’all see this! Chills!

 Not gonna lie, after becoming an entrepreneur, I wasn’t always this excited about being at home with my little one.  I told y’all I was wrapped up, tied up… tangled up in that pressure to perform; chasing the success that I thought would gain me the approval of others.  But now… now that I’ve fixed my eyes on God’s faithfulness to me… I can now see and live in the blessing that is my life!

Prayer

Thank you Father, for showing me new ways to enjoy being a mom.  I love my children, and I am learning to love MY mommy journey. I give myself permission to let go of what doesn’t belong, and will replace it with gratitude as Your grace covers me. I’m grateful for the opportunity to be a mommy, and I know that You will continue to guide me and show up for me, as I continue to acknowledge you in all of my ways. Through trials, triumphs and as I build my testimony… the process doesn’t have to overwhelm me! I am fully persuaded that I am called and equipped to be a great mom; as I  create and live an exciting and fulfilling life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!

Be Encouraged, momma!

Xx,

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Struggling with selfcare, momma? Get inspired with this list | 7 Thing I do weekly just for me!

If you’re a mom then you know creating time and space for yourself isn’t always the easiest. With all th things we have to manage throughout the day, more often than not we put ourselves last. One thing I’ve learned in my motherhood journey is that I am at my best, when I make the time for myself, and do the things that I love to do just for me!  Even if it’s just for a few moments, I am so much more present, grounded and just ready to face what comes my way when my cup is filled!

So, if you’ve been struggling to find the time for yourself, check out my list of the 7 things I do every week just for me, that keep me at my best!

1 Workout. 

Every week I workout. The benefits of working out, especially as a mom are unmatched! From a 3 mile walk, to a 20 minute HIT workout… I’ve committed to myself (and my accountability partner) that I will workout a minimum of 3 times a week, and its been everything I’ve needed. There have even been days when things just felt off, and  I set up shop for a quick 15 min HIT and it got me all the way together. My workouts are strategic and concise, and most often take place while Dream is right there, and it still counts as time just for me! I will always find time to maintain my snatch!

2. “Read”

Every week I’ve committed to reading a few pages a day.  My 2021 goal is to read 1 book every month, and I’m already 7 books in and we’re just getting to May.  Now this may be misleading because sitting down with a physical book doesn’t work for me, In this season of mommyhood. The secret?  I listen to my books and I’ve become well acquainted with Audible and Libby.   Yaaassss!  And let me spill this tea real quick…  these earbuds have changed the game, and only cost $20! Seriously, I love that I can turn on my app, put in my wireless earbuds, and listen discreetly while Dream is playing or while we’re on our walks and drives! If you haven’t switched to audio books, I Highly recommend that you consider!

3. Show up and Slay

If you follow me on social media you know I love to slay! I absolutely love to get dressed, I love makeup, and I love to look as good as I feel! So at least once EVERY week, I plan a whole look… sometimes I do it daily, depending on our schedule. I get dressed up, beat my face (sometime full glam), and I live my best snatched mommy life in the playroom with Dream. lol. Most times I have nowhere to go, and I do it just for me, because it makes me feel amazing! I no longer wait for an invite, or for the perfect moment to show up and slay. I create those moments for myself, and it’s been crazy fun.  Even on the days when I don’t feel my best, getting dressed is such mood and confidence boost! So weekly, this momma is going to show up and OWN it.

4. Create

I love to create content. So every week, I take the ideas I’ve gathered and batch create my  content. Video is my jam, I even created a whole Video Bootcamp to help women show up and slay using the power of video to build their own platforms! It’s been amazing. And for me, creating gives me so much life!  It’s an outlet, but it also fuels me. From creating videos for IG, blogging, creating courses and ebooks, and even just sharing my mommy journey….whether for 30 mins or 3 hours… I get so excited when I make the time and space to just sit and flex my creative muscle.

5. Uninterrupted Showers

Yes, I do shower everyday. I also  know some have said “this is basic maintenance”, but for me… enjoying an uninterrupted  shower and just getting lost in thought is soooo good for my mental! Most times my showers are super quick and efficient because I have Dream. But when hubby is here to take over, I’ve committed to enjoying a longer than usual shower at least once a week. For some this may look like a bubble bath. But seriously, I cry, I pray, I get ideas, and sometimes I just sit in stillness with worship on in the background. And every time I get to enjoy a shower like this, it  gives me the boost I need to continue to thrive as a whole mom!

6. Rest

I’ve never been one to sleep when baby sleeps because I usually have other things to tend to during those precious moments of freedom, lol… but thanks to my mommy schedule and the flow it has created for my life, I’ve been able to created space and time for myself to rest. I’ve committed to sit and pause once a week when Dream naps. I’m not always sleeping, but I told myself that I will sit in stillness, and rest for those 60-90 minutes while Dream sleeps. Ooooh, but when I do drift off into slumberland, it’s always blessed and anointed! lol!

7. Wine down

When hubby is on bedtime duty, momma is enjoy a glass of wine and relaxation. No work, no laundry… just a moment to breathe and release the day.  Some days “relaxation” is sitting on my comfy living room couch, staring out the window. Other days I’m on my deck letting the breeze grace my face.  And some evenings I’m curled up in the basement watching my fave episodes of Frasier.   No matter what, it’s always just what I need when I need it!

xx,

 

 

 

 

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