Let’s Talk, “mommy pressure” 😭. We’ve all felt it before, and whether you want to admit it to yourself or not… it’s keeping you from creating and living a life that excites you! Let’s change that! If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed with the “demands” of motherhood… this is for you!! It’s time to get unstuck, release that mommy pressure, and create a life that excites you!
Love what you’re seeing? Don’t want to miss any other posts or videos? Well, be sure to LIKE, COMMENT, and most importantly SHARE with a momma who needs this! And be sure to connect with me on Instagram@Reese__Dennis♥️♥️
👀Disclaimer: This is not medical advice. If you’re experiences symptoms of postpartum depression and anxiety please call your medical professional ASAP. If you are not able to reach them and feel like you want to harm yourself or your child please call 911 immediately. For further assistance or to talk to a licensed mental health professional please see the resources listed below.
I’m super excited about this month’s cover stories!!
One of the main things I’m determined to do is to create a life that I love; a life that serves me! A life that I can be proud of, where I am not only showing up for myself… but one where I am becoming and fully embracing the woman I know God is calling me to be… yes, as a whole mom.
I know you feel the same. I know that you know you’re more than a mommy. I know you desire to rewrite the narrative, and you want to live your absolute best life…. as a wife, a mom, a business owner… as a woman!
And as eager as you are to redefine mom life on your terms, and FINALLY create a life that excites you…
YOU. FEEL. STUCK.
You can’t seem to figure out how to finally move forward and embrace the beauty of who you know you want to become. You’re trying your best to show up, but you can’t seem to get past the disappointment of things not going as you expected. You’ve even gotten to the point of trying to force things to work out; trying to keep up appearances because you want to prove that you can do it all… instead of operating in the flow and freedom that God has for you….
Well… It’s time to get unstuck and walk in the freedom that God has for you! I’m so grateful to be used by Him!
This month is all about getting “unstuck” and we’re starting with the basics! Because let me tell you this….You will never be able to create & live a life that excites you until you do this one thing!
So if you’re ready to walk in freedom, Check out my first July cover story (video) below, and as always be sure to comment, and share with a momma who needs this!
Love what you’re seeing? Don’t want to miss any other posts or videos? Well, be sure to LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE and SUBSCRIBE! And be sure to connect with me on Instagram@Reese__Dennis♥️♥️
Listen, I know we love our children and we’re grateful for the opportunity to raise these amazing tiny humans… we all know mom life has its challenges. However, that doesn’t mean we have to sit in those moments. Nor does having a “bad moment” make you a bad mom! (Read that again)
So, let’s shift that internal narrative!
Are you with me? Okay, keep reading… this is good!
As we shift, I encourage you to create what I’m calling a “Grace Plan”. “What is that”, you ask? Simply put, a “grace plan” is a list of things to do when you need to give yourself grace! We often talk about “giving ourselves grace”, and I decided to make it a little more practical for my life.
Today, I’m sharing my “Grace Plan” with you. These are the 5 things that help me whenever I’m having one of those moments…. or days! It makes a world of difference when you don’t have to think on your feet, because you have a preset plan of what to do. So I hope it will inspire you to create your own! Remember, there is no right or wrong. This list is specific to your needs, and will totally vary depending on the season of your life, and age of your kiddos 😭😭😭. So apply what you love, leave what don’t, and create a plan that works for you! Let’s go!
1. Breathe Chi!
Literally stop, take a deep breath. Close out the apps, turn off the TV, or step into another space for a hot second. (I’ve done this several times in my pantry 😭😭😭). Close your eyes if you can, and BREATHE chi…. inhale and exhale!!! Such a simple practice, but it’s such an amazing and powerful way to settle yourself in the moment.
2. Encourage yourself!
Once you’ve settled yourself, encourage yourself. Create some quick in the moment comebacks to speak over your life. Protip: prerecord yourself saying these in a voice memo so you can easily play them when you need to! A few things I say that are on my list:
“I am capable” “I can do all things through Christ” “It’s okay to stop and try again later” “This moment is temporary” “I’m having a moment, but I’m a great mom” “LAWD, help me on TODAY”
That last one though 😭🙌🏾 I feel like I call on God all day. And you know what’s so bomb about that… He doesn’t mind. He actually wants us to rely on Him, and if I’m being honest He comes through for me every single time… even if it’s not the way I expected!
3. Create a playlist
When you don’t have the capacity to speak, it’s a great idea to have someone else help you with the “heavy lifting”. Better to have someone else speak life over you, than for you to allow those negative narratives to run wild internally! We’re done with that, remember? I have a whole playlist of worship songs to remind me of who I am and whose I am! It may take a few songs to get me together, but it works EVERY SINGLE TIME!
4. Change of scenery.
Strap the baby in the back and Go! Get out for a quick walk, a drive, walk the mailbox, sit on the deck… just get outside and change up the scenery. If your kids are older, go by yourself. Take some intentional deep breaths, and release the tension in your shoulders. Idk what it is but the greenery and fresh air seem to revive my soul and energize me to carry on!
5. Lean in to the moment.
Sometimes, those “mommy moments” require that we remain physically present, meaning we can’t just shut things down and walk away. In that case lean in and figure out what it is that you need to do for your little one in the moment. This may require that you reschedule a meeting, push back a play date, or delay your social post. It may require that you gracefully decline that clubhouse invite, or that phone call. And guess what? That is okay! Give yourself permission to lean in to those mommy moments when you need to, and give your littles what they need! And as you lean in, observe, learn, be present… sometime you’ll find exactly what YOU need when you lean into those moments for your little ones!
Bonus Phone a friend!
There is so much power in community.! Having people you can call on not only to vent, but who will also build you back up, pray, laugh, come over to help out, or send food when needed… is EVERYTHING! Having people who are literally ready to do whatever you need to help you so that you’re able to keep going… yea… we all need those people in our lives!
Momma, was this helpful? What will you add to you “Grace Plan”! Cant wait to hear what you come up with! Be sure to like and share with a friend in need!
That before was taken right at the moment when I said to myself “why am I living like this, enough is enough” and I didn’t even capture the dining table bc I was so embarrassed. It was covered with mail, toys, old containers &dishes😩😭😩
You see I kept hearing & seeinga lot of things about momlife, and how mess and clutter are inevitable when you have kids. But it’s so wildbecause for me, I was using the “I have a kid” narrative to cover up a problem I’ve had for years with clutter😭😭😭
To be honest, I’d also convinced myself that “my mess wasn’t that bad” because I was comparing it to what others had… and their mess was way worse… smh!!! Just awful! I Told y’all comparison will keep you all the way stuck in your mess! Figuratively and LITERALLY!
Well A few months ago (after immersing myself into the world organizing), I decided to change that narrative in my life. I wanted to become a woman of order especially in my home. And although kids can add a whole lot of “messy” to your life & home… Idecided I no longerwanted to live in that mess as my norm.
So I’ve been on a journey of creating a lifestyle where everything in my home has a place (ORDER), and I set a few moments daily to maintain my space (FLOW).
It’s funny bc all of this started when I took those first small steps (for example making my bed daily). And once I started with those simple daily habit, it’s like the energy to continue was overflowing from within me! I’ve tried to organize before, and fell short every single time! I realized this happened because I was only focused on the task. Once I decided to make this a lifestyle, and focus on who I want to BECOME in the process, the shift happened… and here we are! And I’m just getting started 🙌🏾
I’m no expert or guru in the art of decluttering or organizing… but what I do know is that your life will seldom change if you only focus on the tasks.
I encourage you to decide who you want to become, and create goals that are in alignment with that as you TAKE ACTION.Start as small as you need to. Be intentional and watch the energy that you need to carry on kick in and overtake you! This is not a competition, but rather an amazing opportunity for you to create the life you’ve always desired for yourself. A life of becoming all that you know you’re called to be, filled with the overflow and results you crave the most!
1. Giving myself permission to “be” & set my own expectations!
Knowing that who I am is enough, and embracing what that looks like in each area of my life has been life changing… especially as a mom. I’ve had to seriously let go of chasing results just to validate myself in the eyes of others (this was huge for me this year). You see before I let go of all the pressure I was putting on myself to perform, I wasn’t embracing the now. Sometimes, we get so caught up focusing on “becoming” that we don’t allow ourselves to enjoy actually being. And that, momma, will always rob you of the beauty of the present.
All of you is worthy and all of your journey is important.
I truly believe most of the angst and overwhelm we feel as moms come from trying to live up to someone else’s expectations. We put so much pressure on ourselves. We take all that we see in our community, hear from others, and consume in the media, and allow it to dictate what our lives “should” look like. And what’s wild is that we do all of this without even stopping to ask “is this really the life I want for myself”. Let’s change that.
The life you love is wait for you on the other side of giving yourself permission!
2. Embracing gratitude and grace!
I can’t explain it, but as I’ve been spending time thanking God for my life and being specific and intentional about all that I’m grateful for, it feels like I have a new set of eyes. Like, I used to see my mommy challenges as insurmountable obstacles… like a legit set up (😭😭😭). I now see them as opportunities for God’s grace to overflow, and for Him to help me to grow through it (So I guess it was a set up for God to show up🤭🙌🏾). Being a mom Is not easy, but shifting my focus from the storm, to The Strong Tower… has made a huge difference in my life! I even look at my husband differently, but that’s a whole other topic for another post.
Spending time in gratitude has also helped me to recognize, amplify, and enjoy the little things that add so much to my life, especially those moments I spend with my little lady. I laugh so much more, I’m learning not to sweat the small stuff, and God’s grace looks amazing on me as I grow through my journey!
3 Acknowledging that I’m living the life that I prayed for!
At the beginning of every year, I have this practice of writing out my prayer requests and my vision for the year in the form of praise reports (Thanks to my sister Chris for the Inspo). Basically calling things that are not as though they are. (This is an excellent practice that I’ve helped guide my moms through. It’s been so rewarding, and many have already experienced the life they’ve been praying for, and the year ain’t even over yet!! I’m talking pregnancies, elevation in their businesses… time and intimacy with their spouses… it’s lit inour community)
Well don’t you know I was recently reminded of one of my “praise reports”, from a few years ago! Here’s what it said:
Thank you Father, for the opportunity to stay at home and raise my family. Thank you that I’m not pressured to work, but my husband and I are stewarding our increase, and are in the position for me to stay home.
Like, do y’all see this! Chills!
Not gonna lie, after becoming an entrepreneur, I wasn’t always this excited about being at home with my little one. I told y’all I was wrapped up, tied up… tangled up in that pressure to perform; chasing the success that I thought would gain me the approval of others. But now… now that I’ve fixed my eyes on God’s faithfulness to me… I can now see and live in the blessing that is my life!
Thank you Father, for showing me new ways to enjoy being a mom. I love my children, and I am learning to love MY mommy journey. I give myself permission to let go of what doesn’t belong, and will replace it with gratitude as Your grace covers me. I’m grateful for the opportunity to be a mommy, and I know that You will continue to guide me and show up for me, as I continue to acknowledge you in all of my ways. Through trials, triumphs and as I build my testimony… the process doesn’t have to overwhelm me! I am fully persuaded that I am called and equipped to be a great mom; as I create and live an exciting and fulfilling life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen!