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“Creamy Peanut Butter”

A lesson on being right and being married!

The other day my hubby and I ventured to the grocery store together. Everything was going well, until we got to the peanut butter aisle. My hubby reached for the “natural” peanut butter, but I insisted that we  get the “creamy” version, since  that’s what we had at the house. He paused for a moment, then proceeded to look at the various labels to figure out what we had in the cupboard. He clearly didn’t believe me.

After a few “exchanges”, and a near exit with NOTHING, he finally gave in and said “I’m almost certain we had natural, but just go ahead and get the creamy peanut butter”. I tossed that tube into the cart so quickly, and dashed off to gather the last few items. I was in my feelings, yet and still I kept it together. 

When we finally got home,  I noticed that my hubby made a very deliberate strut to the cupboard. I rolled my eyes, and started putting the groceries away.  I knew exactly what he was doing! I didn’t pay him any mind, other than what I noticed out of my peripheral. He shuffled through the shelves for a few moments, then slowly closed the cupboard door. (He saw truth. lol!) He stood there for a few seconds, before finally admitting that I was right about the peanut butter.

In that moment, in that VERY REAL moment…

All I could think to say was “I told you so”. I knew I was right. I felt the words welling up within my soul, until I remembered being on the other side. Countless moments of being wrong came to mind, and I knew I needed to humble myself and sprinkle my response with love. (UGHHHH). I finished putting the last few groceries away, turned to the love of my life and said, “No problem babe, you know I’ve been there.  I’m just glad we got the right one”. 

Thank God I passed that test!  

What do you do when your spouse is wrong?  Do you rub it in their face, trying to “make an example” of the situation? OR do you show grace, put yourself in their shoes, and respond in love? Of course the latter is the best option, but let’s be real… it sure isn’t the easiest! Listen,  I don’t always get it right, but let me encourage you (as I encourage myself)! The next time you find yourself in a “creamy peanut butter” situation, and you KNOW you’re right.. respond in love! Nobody is perfect, and the worst thing to do is kick someone when they’ve humbly admitted that they’ve made a mistake. Yes, there will be moments when you need to have a full conversation about certain situations, but don’t give access to the enemy. Proverbs 15:1 says it best, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”. God already knew! Choose your response carefully. Show grace and  fight with every bit of your being to keep the peace in your marriage and your household!  You two are one!

Nobody said it would be easy, but believe me, it will always be worth it!

 

#Happilymarried: 300 Words of Advice from the Newlywed

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Today my hubby and I celebrate 1 year of marriage! Yassss, shout out to us and our love! We did it, only a lifetime to go <3! Over the past year, I’ve posted countless pictures of the two of us to FB and IG, using the #happilymarried tag. I mean, I’m happy and I want to tell the world. But what does it REALLY mean to be #happilymarried?  

The What

In my opinion,  “happily married” is all a matter of choice and perspective. Which means, it will be/look/feel different for each couple. However, If you constantly compare your marriage to that of others, I’m certain that you will find it hard to enjoy what you share with your spouse.  Comparing yourself to others will rob you of your peace, your joy and your happiness! Oh, and be very careful of what you allow the media to feed you!  Listen, at some point you just have to cut all ties to those idealistic triplets; “Shoulda”, “Coulda” and  “Woulda”! They are not your girlfriends, they are life suckers! Believe me, I know!

The How

My hubby and I are learning to focus on the present, and live in the moment! As you build your future together, enjoy the process!  Take the time to listen as you get to know one another (#realeffort). You may not have the biggest house, or the coin to travel the globe, but you have each other! Focus on that! Focus on the love! Focus on the great possibilities of what will be,  and don’t despise those humble beginnings! You need each other. You’ve committed and made a vow to one another, so don’t give up. Fight for, not with, each other! Remember, a house divided against itself will surely fall!

You two are one!

Commit, Cherish, Flourish <3!

-Reese

 

How I met my Husband (He’s Intentional)

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As I think of how my relationship has flourished over the past few years with my (now) husband, I can’t believe how wonderfully God orchestrated it all!  If you know me, then you probably know the story of “how I met my husband”. If you don’t, then keep reading and enjoy!

It was October 2012. I was driving down 95 South, heading back to my place in Virginia. I just spend a lovely weekend with my family in Philly.  As I passed through Delaware, the light drizzled that Glazed my car, turned into a heavy downpour! My car hit a puddle, and I could feel it losing control! It felt as if the entire world froze in that moment! I flew across 3 lanes, only to have the guard rail bring my car to a crashing halt! My Car was completely totaled… BUT GOD SPARED MY LIFE! I walked away unharmed and whole, and I am forever grateful for His protection! I had no idea that this was the start of a sequence of INTENTIONAL events that would lead me to my husband!

A few days later, I made my way back to Virginia and to the nearest Honda Dealership. As soon as I stepped out of my rental, guess who walked up to assist me?  Arkeem! He was calm, cool, collected! Definitely not your average car sales consultant! I could tell that he wasn’t from Va, which was confirmed during my test drive when he told me he was from Savannah, Ga. Come to find out we both made our way to Virginia to start a new journey in life! 

Although Arkeem and I had a great conversation, it was strictly business. I wanted to buy, he wanted to sell.  Neither one of us was looking for anything further than a car deal; however, we managed to stay in touch. An email was sent here, a double tap on Instagram there… very minor exchanges! It wasn’t until February (February 23rd to be exact) when Arkeem took it to the next level and asked me out to dinner!  

That dinner was the best first date I’ve ever had in my life! Our conversation was so natural and lively; No masks, no games, no pressure! I don’t even remember asking many questions, we pretty much eased into every thing you’d think to discuss on a “first date”. The tone was set for all of our moments together!  It was the start of a beautiful friendship, turned relationship, turned marriage for LIFE!

Sometimes, when we go through tragic experiences in life, we tend to focus on the negative outcome and miss the actually opportunity to let go and let GOD BLOW OUR MINDS!  Think about that… “Let go and let GOD BLOW YOUR MIND”!  For me, a car accident set me up to meet my husband!  What if I spent all of my time crying over the accident that I experienced and the car I lost, instead of focusing on God’s faithfulness and how He truly spared my life! My attitude/outlook may have caused me to delay (or even miss) my blessing!  I can’t even imagine! I am truly thankful that in that season I chose to focus on His goodness, and that He prepared me (mind, body and spirit) to meet my wonderful husband.

I urge you today, no matter what has happened, focus on God’s goodness and watch Him work wonders. He is intentional!

-Reese

*Photo Cred: Douglas  James Studios