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“Creamy Peanut Butter”

A lesson on being right and being married!

The other day my hubby and I ventured to the grocery store together. Everything was going well, until we got to the peanut butter aisle. My hubby reached for the “natural” peanut butter, but I insisted that we  get the “creamy” version, since  that’s what we had at the house. He paused for a moment, then proceeded to look at the various labels to figure out what we had in the cupboard. He clearly didn’t believe me.

After a few “exchanges”, and a near exit with NOTHING, he finally gave in and said “I’m almost certain we had natural, but just go ahead and get the creamy peanut butter”. I tossed that tube into the cart so quickly, and dashed off to gather the last few items. I was in my feelings, yet and still I kept it together. 

When we finally got home,  I noticed that my hubby made a very deliberate strut to the cupboard. I rolled my eyes, and started putting the groceries away.  I knew exactly what he was doing! I didn’t pay him any mind, other than what I noticed out of my peripheral. He shuffled through the shelves for a few moments, then slowly closed the cupboard door. (He saw truth. lol!) He stood there for a few seconds, before finally admitting that I was right about the peanut butter.

In that moment, in that VERY REAL moment…

All I could think to say was “I told you so”. I knew I was right. I felt the words welling up within my soul, until I remembered being on the other side. Countless moments of being wrong came to mind, and I knew I needed to humble myself and sprinkle my response with love. (UGHHHH). I finished putting the last few groceries away, turned to the love of my life and said, “No problem babe, you know I’ve been there.  I’m just glad we got the right one”. 

Thank God I passed that test!  

What do you do when your spouse is wrong?  Do you rub it in their face, trying to “make an example” of the situation? OR do you show grace, put yourself in their shoes, and respond in love? Of course the latter is the best option, but let’s be real… it sure isn’t the easiest! Listen,  I don’t always get it right, but let me encourage you (as I encourage myself)! The next time you find yourself in a “creamy peanut butter” situation, and you KNOW you’re right.. respond in love! Nobody is perfect, and the worst thing to do is kick someone when they’ve humbly admitted that they’ve made a mistake. Yes, there will be moments when you need to have a full conversation about certain situations, but don’t give access to the enemy. Proverbs 15:1 says it best, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”. God already knew! Choose your response carefully. Show grace and  fight with every bit of your being to keep the peace in your marriage and your household!  You two are one!

Nobody said it would be easy, but believe me, it will always be worth it!

 

Living|Loving|Learning (3 Lessons from the Newlywed)

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Marriage is a beautiful blessing, but let’s not be naive.  A healthy marriage doesn’t just magically grow, it  requires real commitment and effort to blossom. Think of the grass on your lawn. You have to take special care of it for best results. So, you keep it trimmed and manicured,  and you handle those unwanted yet inevitable weeds with a sense of urgency. A healthy marriage requires this same type of love and care. I’m still new in the game, but I absolutely love being married! My hubby and I are building a beautiful life together, and I’m so grateful for every lesson learned.  We’ve been so blessed to see and understand some things early on, and I’m here to share the top 3 lessons we’ve learned as newlyweds! Enjoy!

1. Support one another

 It’s become somewhat of a ritual for us to talk and dream together. We talk about our future, our goals, and our aspirations. Then we take it a step further and discuss how to support each other. I’m an aspiring business owner, and as I share the goings-on in my life, my husband is right there to keep me focused, encouraged, and grounded! And I do the same for him!  This is what a partnership looks like. In marriage you have to understand there is no “I”, only “us”! Remember, you two are a team, and in many cases you will only be as good as your partner. So support, uplift, and encourage one another. It’s a win/win!

2. Share responsibilities

 In our home, we learned the importance of sharing responsibilities. We are still working on coming up with a “routine”, but we both do our fair share of stepping up and stepping in when needed.  Trust me it makes life so much easier! If my hubby gets home before I do, he will often take care of dinner. And if I’m cooking and not worried about him being in my way (lol), then he will step in and take care of the dishes. Oh and did I mention I haven’t touch a toilet brush in over a year? Yes ladies, my hubby exclusively takes care of the entire bathroom and I love it. And guess what, I’m more than happy to share that I take care of the laundry (wash/dry/fold). It’s all about balance, but it takes both parties to make it happen. Team work, makes the dream work. Find what works in your household. Be flexible and willing to pick up the slack in the name of love!

 3. Don’t hide your habits/flaws

I learned my lesson here. For the past two years I’ve been waxing my upper-lip. And for my entire married life, I’ve been able to do this without my hubby knowing.  Well, over the past few days I haven’t had a moment to myself to take care of my business.  So the other night, I waited for him to fall asleep, before I snuck into the bathroom.  Everything was going just fine. I was on my last strip, mid-pull,  when I thought I heard my husband walking to the bathroom. In a complete panic, I  quickly ripped off the wax strip and waited for him to bust through the door. I stood there for a good 30 seconds expecting the worst, but he wasn’t there. I finally peeped through the door, and to my surprise this man was still in bed, sound asleep. So there I stood, wax strip in hand…and nearly 1/13th of underlip skin missing.  OUCH!  All because I panicked and ripped it off trying to HIDE what I was doing from my hubby! And to make this all the more real, when I finally told him the truth about the scar under my nose, he was so unbothered.  He even had the nerve to say “You can tell me these things, I love you.”  What in the world? Where did he come from? The lesson here, don’t hide your habits, or the things that make you you! I’m not saying expose it all, bur remember, you two are one. No secrets, no hiding, be real and be you. It’s so freeing, and could save your skin!

Plant the seed!

Water with intimacy and support ❤

Be encouraged!

-Reese

When Bae Doesn’t Text (Right) Back

I used to get so upset when my hubby didn’t text me during the day, or if he took hours before responding!  I mean come on.  It’s me, wifey! Then we had a conversation, and he had to remind me of something we discussed during our pre-marital counselling. He reminded me that the only reason he isn’t able to be as attentive to his phone at work, is because he’s working. He’s working for our now, for our future… for me. And to top it all off he began to tell me of how the past few weeks have been very busy and profitable for him (for us). Well, you already know that shut me right up. And I had to apologize for losing perspective. I know my man loves me <3! I was just being spoiled, and had the nerve to get mad at him,  as if he doesn’t do everything in his power to make my life amazing! Forgive me, Father!  I’m not perfect, but I’m now more aware of this during the work day. I’ve even started sending him prayers, or fabulous selfies…lol.

 Ladies take a moment and consider your ways. If you know your husband loves you and his steps are ordered by the Lord,  rethink that angry text with the side-eye. Especially if he is at work, or on assignment. Instead, send a text/voicemail of love and encouragement. Pray over him, and send a word of life. You never know what he’s facing at that very moment, and your words can change his whole course of action!  

Remember,  you and your hubby are one.

When he wins, you both win <3!

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#Happilymarried: 300 Words of Advice from the Newlywed

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Today my hubby and I celebrate 1 year of marriage! Yassss, shout out to us and our love! We did it, only a lifetime to go <3! Over the past year, I’ve posted countless pictures of the two of us to FB and IG, using the #happilymarried tag. I mean, I’m happy and I want to tell the world. But what does it REALLY mean to be #happilymarried?  

The What

In my opinion,  “happily married” is all a matter of choice and perspective. Which means, it will be/look/feel different for each couple. However, If you constantly compare your marriage to that of others, I’m certain that you will find it hard to enjoy what you share with your spouse.  Comparing yourself to others will rob you of your peace, your joy and your happiness! Oh, and be very careful of what you allow the media to feed you!  Listen, at some point you just have to cut all ties to those idealistic triplets; “Shoulda”, “Coulda” and  “Woulda”! They are not your girlfriends, they are life suckers! Believe me, I know!

The How

My hubby and I are learning to focus on the present, and live in the moment! As you build your future together, enjoy the process!  Take the time to listen as you get to know one another (#realeffort). You may not have the biggest house, or the coin to travel the globe, but you have each other! Focus on that! Focus on the love! Focus on the great possibilities of what will be,  and don’t despise those humble beginnings! You need each other. You’ve committed and made a vow to one another, so don’t give up. Fight for, not with, each other! Remember, a house divided against itself will surely fall!

You two are one!

Commit, Cherish, Flourish <3!

-Reese