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Marriage Mondays with “The Fierce 5”; Angela Somers 🤗

Happy Marriage Monday, ladies! It’s week 4 of the “Fierce 5” series, and today Angie Somers is here to help the sistahs! OK!!! A word for the married, married with children and my singles… you don’t want to miss this one! Y’all I’m HYPED over here! The wisdom is dripping from the screen! So whether you’re hearing this for the first time, or it’s coming as a timely reminder, glean and Be encouraged! -Reese

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How many years have you been married, and what has being married taught you?

I’ve been happily married for 21 years to my wonderful husband Marvin.  Being married for this long had taught me that with Christ, all things are possible.  Early on in our marriage things weren’t like they are now.  If you want something to last you have to be willing to put in the work and forgive.

What are 3 key ingredients that have helped you build a healthy marriage?

 Keep Christ in The Center of Your Marriage

Date Frequently (Spend quality time with each other on purpose)

Love on Each Other (Spend more time Loving vs. Fussing)

What word of advice/wisdom do you have for the young wife?

Stop trying to change your husband.  Pray and ask God to help your husband be what He’s called him to be.  Allow God to do the work and you’ll reap the benefits.

Keep other people out of your marriage.  I don’t care who they are.  Unless you are seeking good godly counsel like in Psalm 37:30, don’t tell Mama and them all of your business.

What about the singles? What word of advice can you share to help the single women, who desires to be married?

Listen singles ladies…  Stop searching so hard for “Mr. Right”.  Trust me, I’ve been there and it didn’t work.  The scripture says in Proverbs 18:22 – He who finds a wife finds a good thing…

Ask God to help you be the “good thing” He is talking about in the scripture and your future husband will find you.  Trust in God’s timing and stop dating men who treat you like you are an option.  Stop allowing a bunch of mess and confusion.  Either he wants to be with you or he doesn’t.  If he doesn’t, set him free and then God can bring the man He wants for you in to your life. (THIS -Reese). Don’t become bitter before that time. 😉

Anything else/advice/wisdom you feel led to share?

If you are already married and have children, continue to date your husband.  Don’t get so consumed in the children that you neglect each other.  One day the children will grow up, move out (hopefully) and then it’ll be just you and your husband in the home.  Think of creative and new things to do with each other right now.  Yes, life will sometimes get in the way but I guarantee you if you spend quality time with each other purposefully, your marriage will last.

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Marriage Mondays with “The Fierce 5”; Gail James

Hey ladies! It’s Monday, so you know what that means? Marriage Mondays with The Fierce 5″! These are the 5 women who, over the past few years, have poured into my life as a young women and as a wife. I’ve learned so much from each of them, and thankfully have avoided many mistakes due to the wisdom they’ve shared with me. So you know I had to share the wealth! Yaaaasss!! Today, we’ll hear from Gail James. This post hit home for me this week, and I’m so grateful!  Whether this advice is hitting you for the first time, or coming as a timely reminder, be sure to chime in and let us know! Be encouraged!Reese

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How many years have you been married? What has being married taught you?   

I have been married for 21 years.  May 11th will make it 22 years. I have learned a lot and have grown since the beginning.  I believe God put my husband and I together. Because of this, I am committed to making our marriage work.  In the beginning, I saw faults in my husband and wished he would change.  I looked at him but not at myself.  But as I prayed for our relationship, God had me focus not on him, but on myself and how I could change for the better As I prayed for God to change things in me, my husband would change.  I prayed for things such as make me a better wife, a better lover, a better listener, make me more sensitive to his needs, his moods and when to discuss things with him.  I used to want to discuss things with him as soon as he got home from work.  But, he had to “catch himself” as he called it, which meant decompressing from the stress of the work day.  As I learned to give him that time when he arrived home, ½ hour later he was fine.  In the beginning, my husband had a hard time saying, “I’m sorry”.  I would say it first to keep the peace, even if I felt I wasn’t wrong.  Again, as I prayed, he began to say it first, and even elaborate why he was wrong.  Part of the growth is really learning your mate and what makes him the person he is. 

Another thing we do now is not wait for special holidays or occasions to give gifts or cards.  We give them all throughout the year, just to say “I love you”.  We also tease each other during the day when we are home, share love taps, etc. to keep the affection going all day.  It all works to build a great marriage.     

What are 3 key ingredients that have helped you build a healthy marriage?

God at the center of our relationship.  Praying daily for our relationship, for my husband, his challenges, and praying  he allows God to direct him in all things, especially since he is the head of our household. 

Love, commitment, fun and time together.

Forgiveness and patience.

 What word of advice/wisdom do you have for the young wife?

Marriage takes work every day.  Appreciate him for his gifts and talents.  Be patience, quick to forgive, be honest, loving and don’t sweat the small stuff.  So he doesn’t put the socks in the hamper…  don’t lose sleep over it.  Just pick them up and put them in the hamper.  You would miss them if he were not around.  And spend quality time together, quiet time, prayer time, watching a movie, traveling, going out, and of course “rocking it”. (Oh, Yasss -Reese, lol)

What about the singles? What word of advice can you share to help the single women, who desires to be married?

When I was single, a good friend gave me this advice.  Enjoy life being single, go places, do things.  That is how you meet people.  And, when it is your time, you and your mate’s paths will cross. 

Anything else/advice/wisdom you feel led to share? 

“He is your King and you are his Queen.  Let him know it every day”. 

Marriage is a serious commitment. The two become one flesh and that is real.  No joke.  Stay faithful and committed to each other and know if God put you together, no man can break you apart.  You have to be willing to grow and to change for the better, as your mate will be doing the same.  And be careful who you share info with about your marriage.  You should share with a select few who are confidential and married. 

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That Moment When You Realize

flourish

No matter how big the obstacle, or how rough the road may appear… you have everything you need to FLOURISH in this season! Stop letting fear cripple you! Bring that dream to fruition! Go after what you’ve always dreamed of becoming with every fiber in your being!

Flourish and thrive 💜

3 Surefire Ways to Handle the Unsolicited Opinions of Others

 As a newlywed, a lot of people have an opinion about what my husband and I “should/shouldn’t do”, especially with regards to our first married year/holidays together. Nothing malicious at all, just opinions that caused a great deal of pressure. I got caught up at first.  Then it dawned on me; this is our life and we will live it as we please!  Some of you may have experience this same pressure.  You may have certain goals and aspirations in mind, and you’re trying to handle all the uninvited opinions that other have for your life. So I’ve decided to share what I’ve learned to do, and I hope it helps you as well:

1. Hold your peace: Peace of mind is more important than the best of clap-backs!  Some opinions aren’t even worth entertaining,  especially when they come without provocation. It’s one thing to go to a trusted source, and ask them to dissect your life. When that’s the case, then I expect them to let me have it. Dig deep and help me get my life in order.  However, if I didn’t ask and it is not worth a response, I simply don’t entertain it. Especially when I know they don’t have my best interest in mind.

2. Use your words:  If you feel the need to respond, put your words to good use and create a standard response. Here are two of my favorites: “It’s unfortunate that your feelings differ from how I plan to live my life”, and  “No, I don’t plan to do it that way, but I appreciate your concern”.  Feel free to use at will, and proceed to exit stage left.

3. Don’t tell everything you know: This is probably one of the most important lessons I’ve learned! Keep your personal life, marriage,  goals and aspirations under lock and key. Yes, we all need accountability, but take a break from posting and sharing every detail of your life and hustle. Hustle in private, enlist the help of an accountability partner/mentor,  and let the results of your labor do all of the bragging. The less you share, the less access people have to your life.   If people don’t know what you’re up to, then they won’t have an opportunity to  create an opinion.

 

This is your time. This is your year! Make it count!

-Reese

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The One Habit to Break Today (Video🎥)

 

Be Encouraged!*

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