happily married

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Make The Time | #marriedlife

Over the past month, I’ve been sharing more and more about the importance of the day Thursday, with some of my married friends. “What’s so important about this day”, you ask? Well this is my standing “date-day” with my Boo Bear, and it’s off limits.

Keem and I learned early in our marriage just how important it is to “make the time” for each other. During our pre-marital counseling, our marriage mentors made sure that we picked a day and stuck to it! We’re nearly 4 years in, and Thursday is still our day!

Life gets so busy, that we sometimes overlook the things/people we’ve been neglecting. Now of course keem and I see each other every day, but we made a decision to make INTENTIONAL time for each other!

Each Thursday looks different. Sometimes we coordinate workouts, and hang out in the house. Sometimes we go grocery shopping at Wegmans and stop to eat at the hot bar. And other times we plan full out date trips to amusements parks or to dinner and a movie! What we do doesn’t really matter, the key is to spend time together… intentionally! Phones down, work put away… just me and my Boo Bear!

Now, this is not a new topic on the blog, but it’s totally worth repeating!

Take a look at your marriage, and ask yourself, “when was the last time my honey and I actually made plans to hang out”? If you’re finding it hard to remember specifics, a date day is in order! Now I know you may have “life” going on… but what is life if you’re not building with your spouse? And if you have kids, what will you have to stand on once the kids are grown, if you haven’t spent any time together?

Remember, it’s not what you do that’s most important… although it should be fun and enjoyable! It’s who you’re doing it with… and being intentional about that time together!

Make every effort, to make the time!

Reese

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The Way He Looks at Me | The Struggle was Real

There is nothing like having someone say “I could tell she was your honey by the way you looked at her all night”!

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That’s what someone said to my hubby this past weekend, while at a wedding celebration. It was like music to my ears! I felt so warm and yummy inside… but can you believe I didn’t always like/appreciate the way he looked at me? Crazy, right? I know, but it’s oh so true! 

A short while ago, whenever I’d catch my hubby looking at me, I’d often respond by asking “what’s wrong? Is it my hair/makeup? What are you looking at?” This list goes on and on, with all the negative things I’d come up with. To my surprise… my hubby wouldn’t take the bait. He’d look at me and say, “I like what I see“.

You see, when you struggle with self-esteem,  you often take another’s gaze as an implication of imperfection, rather than admiration.   For me, I kept thinking “can someone really just ‘like’ what they see when they look at me”? The struggle was too real…

But there’s this thing called LOVE! And when you begin to discover how to truly love yourself,  you don’t mind when others join in on the celebration! #it’saword

It’s been a long journey to get to this place (so many stories), but I am so thankful to be here. I love the woman I am becoming… and… I, too, like what I see when I look at me! I love myself, and I know just how wonderfully The Master made me! I am beautifully snatched for His glory! ( #snatchedforHisglory … Just wait on it!)

So now, when my hubby looks at me, I can appreciate every moment of his admiration and affection! No negative thoughts; although, he will let me know if I have chip crumbs on my chin! I can now appreciate his gaze, and smile in return! My hubby loves me, and to know that he only has eyes for me is beyond wonderful.

Yes, I’m flawed. But more importantly,

I’m loved and I am his honey ❤

Reese

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Baecation in the Dominican| “We Stopped Waiting for the ‘Perfect’ Moment”

I’m back!

I’ve been away with my Boo Bear in the Dominican, to celebrate our 3 year wedding anniversary!  How was it? Well, if you’ve ever been to an all-inclusive resort, on a beautiful island, with the love of your life… then you already know the trip was #LIT! And I’m back to share a few flicks, and 3 important lessons learned while overseas!

1. Stop waiting for the right moment and create it! Stop waiting and start living!

Keem and I have been babysitting our passports for the past few months. We were literally waiting for everything to align; our jobs, schedules… etc. We’d sit around and dream/talk about how we can’t wait to take a vacation one day soon. It wasn’t until we heard a talk from Les Brown, that we decided to stop waiting for the “perfect” moment! Tomorrow isn’t promised, all we have is today.  So we booked our first trip out of the country together, and didn’t look back! And the funny thing is that once we made that move… EVERYTHING else came into alignment, and we had the time of our lives! 

If you’re babysitting an idea or a “move”… stop! Take that first step.  Make the phone call, book that flight… leave that job (did I say it, I did)!  Stop waiting for the perfect moment to do what you need/want… CREATE IT!

2. Enjoy the experience

There was so much to take in.  If you’ve ever traveled out of the country then you know it can be overwhelming, especially is there is a language barrier. But Keem and I decided that we were both going to step out of our comfort zones, and enjoy the experience of it all! We didn’t want that “overwhelmed” feeling to keep us trapped in our resort room… We had VIP access, and we just couldn’t let it go to waste.  So we went out, embraced the unknown… and guess what? It was BOMB! From me using my 6 years of Spanish, to “flying” with Superman… all the way to Keem dancing Bachata with me at the pool party…  (yes my honey came to the dance floor just for me ❤)… it was everything and so much more! 

 Now, whenever something arises that challenges us to step out of the box , we have a simple word to remind ourselves to live in the moment; “Experiencion“! (Totally made up, but it’s our thing and I love it!)

So if you find yourself in a situation where you are being challenged to step out of your comfort zone, or faced with feeling overwhelmed… push beyond those feelings and enjoy the experience. Live in the moment, and don’t let the unknown trap you and keep you from living your best life. #livingmybestlife2018

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3. Bonding is the key

The other night as we reflected on our trip, we realized just how much we needed it. Although we see each other everyday, we needed this time to bond and reconnect. We were totally disconnected from our “normal” day to day. No WiFi, no work calls, no social media… just my honey and I! Yes, we are young and in love, but the busyness of life is a real distraction #realtalk. 

So if you’re married, be sure to set aside DEDICATED TIME just for reconnecting.

No, of course you don’t have to leave the country to bond with your spouse, but I’d say be very deliberate with keeping the distraction at bay. Leave the house, find a babysitter if you can, and put the phone down.   I’ve personally gotten into the habit of turning my phone on airplane mode when we go out. Some say extreme, I say I want to give my man my undivided attention when we set aside the time to date!

Yes, it’s just that important!

 

Be encouraged (and live) ❤

Reese

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🎥 Video | My “Fierce 5” Reflection; Give Your Husband Your Best

Hey ladies! Happy “Fierce 5”💍 follow up Friday ! Deaconess Michele brought the FIRE… and… per usual, I had to come back to share my thoughts, and reflections. I had to get a little transparent on this one!  So much to say, not enough time to say it all! Enjoy, SHARE and BE ENCOURAGED! 

-Reese

Check out Michele’s Post Here!

Love what you’re seeing? Don’t want to miss any other posts or videos? Well, be sure to LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE and SUBSCRIBE! Join in for more empowerment tips on how to live your best life; mind, body, & relationships.  And be sure to connect with me on Instagram @Reese__Dennis♥️♥️

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Marriage Mondays with “The Fierce 5”; Celeste Forrest (Momma Forrest)

Happy Marriage Monday, ladies! It’s week 3 of the “Fierce 5” series and today Momma Forrest is not holding back! With 42 years under her belt, you already know what it is! Y’all I’m HYPED over here! The wisdom is dripping from the screen! Yaasss! So whether you’re hearing this for the first time, or it’s coming as a timely reminder, glean and Be encouraged! -Reese

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How many years have you been married, and what has being married taught you?

Being married for 42 years (FORTY-TWO lol -Reese) has taught me that having a successful marriage is hard work.  You must be deliberate in tending to your relationship by spending quality time and a large quantity of it.  No matter how long you were dating, marriage is full of surprises and how you react to them will determine if you will thrive, survive or take a dive.

What are 3 key ingredients that have helped you build a healthy marriage?

I would say that having Christ as the Center of our marriage was key.  We agreed to the Bible as our standard and looked to it as a foundation upon which to build.  We each had access to the Holy Spirit to help develop a lasting bond.

Being in fellowship with other couples who were committed to the institution of marriage was also helpful.  We met with other young couples monthly and encouraged one another to enjoy the journey.

Being always ready to meet one another’s emotional and sexual needs is critical.     Sexual intimacy strengthens your sense of connection and discovering what pleases him and becoming an expert at it will more than compensate for any time or money invested.

What word of advice/wisdom do you have for the young wife?

A wise woman  builds her house but a foolish woman tears it down with her words.  Always speak to your husband with respect.  Especially in public.   Be the President of his fan club.

Don’t discuss your marriage with your single girlfriends.  And by all means keep your personal business off social media.  This doesn’t mean that you can’t speak to anyone.  But be led to by the LORD in choosing a confidant.

What about the singles? What word of advice can you share to help the single women, who desires to be married?

Pray and ask God to show you what you need to see in a perspective mate.  Pay attention to the cues. 

Ask yourself:  **Can I live with this man if he NEVER changes?**(Y’all HEAR THIS!)

Is his WAY of life conducive with mine?  Do we agree on the basics: Jesus, Timeliness, Integrity, Money, Cleanliness, Determine upon which of these things you are willing to compromise and which are non-negotiable.

Anything else/advice/wisdom you feel led to share?

Never put your marriage on the table:  When you have disagreements, never negotiate your marriage.  Discuss the issue, not whether your marriage will survive it.

Unless there is physical violence, which we hope there will never be, NEVER leave the house.  Go to the ladies room and absence yourself to give temperatures time to settle.

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Love what you’re seeing? Don’t want to miss any other posts or videos? Well, be sure to LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE and SUBSCRIBE! Join in for more empowerment tips on how to live your best life; mind, body, & relationships.  And be sure to connect with me on Instagram @Reese__Dennis♥️♥️