Let’s get right to it! I’ve fully embraced that I am now a mom, and the way in which I’m called to show up has shifted accordingly! I wasn’t in favor at first! Y’all I was running… but I’m so glad I gave God my yes, and have already seen how my story and what I’m called to do is for such a time as this! So with all of that I just wanted to take a super quick moment to reintroduce myself, my blog, and where we’re going next!
Soooo, my name is Reese (obvi), and I’m a wife, a whole momma to a very active “yummy little nugget” named Dream, and I am on a serious and purposeful mission to empower other married mompreneurs like myself; mommas who are ready to ditch the overwhelm, create and master harmony, all while creating an exciting and fulfilling life! A life worth bragging about!
What I’ve learned is that everything that God promises in His word, applies to me! He’s not holding anything back, and as I continue to stay connected to Him, He will surely give me the blueprint to create the life I deserve and desire! Yes, as a whole mom… and He wants the same for you, momma!
Millennial Mom Chat is my outlet y’all! It’s the space where I can share my journey as a whole mom, all while empowering and inspiring you to get results in your life; mind, body and in business! MY life has its challenges, but I truly believe moms can create and enjoy a fulfilling life! A life where you can show up for yourself, for your babies… and in your marriage without having to sacrifice one for the other! It’s all about Harmony and flow! Yaassssss!
So whether you’ve been rocking with me since the beginning back in 2010 👀, or you’re just joining the party, I’m so grateful that you’re here, and I’m so ready share, hear from you, and most importantly empower you to become the best version of yourself as a whole mom! Manifesting overflow and results in every area of your life; mind, body and in business! Let’s do this!
I would love to hear from you! Comment below, tell me a little about yourself!
Join me right here on the blog from Feb 1st – Feb 5th for a 5 day devotional just for just as mommas! As a subscriber everything will come straight to your inbox! Yaaass! It’s gonna be so so good!
Yesterday I hosted a room on #Clubhouse titled “Momma, It’s Time to Take Action”.
What I know is that in many instances we as moms don’t take action because we feel like we don’t have the time Or when we do take action, we overwhelm ourselves trying to do it all at once!
But what would it look like if you took THAT BIG GOAL and broke it down into bite sized action steps? What would it look like if instead of thinking you have to do everything in one day, you gave yourself a week… a month?
Let me give you a personal example! And you betta not judge me! lol
Okay, soooo….. Shortly after lockdown due to COVID, I quickly realized the need to implement a digital/virtual component to my business. I got this bomb idea to create a group program just for stylists (that’s who I was serving at the time).
Y’all I got right to work! I set a start date for 10 days out (SMH), and starting thinking of how to show up online to attract people for the program! If you know me, you know I love video, so I started creating content, doing IG lives… like y’all I I was in grind mode. I literally rushed to put something together to respond to the pandemic, and within 10 days I launched and I onboarded 5 stylists for my first ever group program.
Now on the outside looking in, that all seems exciting! Right? Responding to a pressing need and offering a dope solution in 10 days!
But can I be real… I was overwhelmed in the process!
▶️ I hadn’t fully communicated what I needed from my husband to support the times I needed to show up for calls. I was just making it work. (I’lll have to share how he felt in another post… Lawd!)
▶️ I wasn’t fully present with Dream, she was younger so it was easier to work while with her. (this was before I had my mommy schedule, and I felt so guilty looking at her little face… but I didn’t know better at the time)
▶️ I was completely burnt out by the time the program ended. Showing up, as a fairly new mom, without a clear plan of how my home would run while working and serving my clients… at the start of a pandemic! Whew Chile!!
And although I am grateful for the results I was able to help my clients achieve in the program, especially helping them to increase their income in the midst of a pandemic (I’m extremely proud of that). I also know that I could have done things differently, and been more intentional about planning, to ensure that I was taking care of me in the process!
I now operate completely differently!
✨My husband is aware of my plans and although support was never an issue, being clear about what I need from him makes his “job” easier, and we can avoid unnecessary tension.
✨With my mommy schedule, I have designated days where I can go all in working on my business, taking calls…I even have a set day to batch create content. I no longer have to sacrifice time with my family.
✨I am so confident in the transformation I bring to my clients, and I now know the value I add. Y’all I’m now doing for myself what I’ve done for my clients, and increasing my income without the hustle and grind. Like I said, there is a flow on this side… and it feels amazing!
So momma, again, I ask you…. what would it look like if you took THAT BIG GOAL and broke it down into bite sized action steps? I know it can seem overwhelming to get started… or perhaps you were like me and the overwhelm is coming from trying to do it all at once… without a clear plan. Lawd!
The vision doesn’t have to overwhelm you, and with a plan in place you can avoid the guilt of feeling like you’re stealing time from your loved ones! That, coupled with knowing the value you bring to the marketplace… girl… it’s a win all around!
Nearly 6 months ago… I’d reached my breaking point. I was sobbing on my bathroom floor, after spending nearly 2 hours unsuccessfully trying to put Dream to sleep. That was just the straw that broke the camels back.
I’d been trying to control it all (my housework, my marriage, show up in my business) and nothing was going how I expected…. I was fed up, frustrated, overwhelmed and felt guilty because I didn’t feel like I was being the best mom for Dream!
I didn’t feel like a good mom at all in that moment! It was rough and lonely!
I cried out and said “God, if you don’t help me I’m not gonna make it” 😭😭😭 for REAL! Thank God my hubby was there to take over, and I was able to heed the advice of my amazing sister to go sit in my car and take a deep breath! (thanks @mrstalley23 for that sound advice)
It was 11pm and although I was slightly worried about what people might think, I sat in my dark car and took that deep breath as instructed! The tears started flowing… they wouldn’t stop. I just sat there and cried staring at my blue front door through my tears! Then I started to speak to God:
“God this cannot be the life You desire for me”.
“why would You call me to struggle”
“Why do I feel so inadequate”!
“Like… what am I missing? Please I need You”!
I’m so grateful for that moment (as unpretty as it was)… bc it led me to surrender, and become so much more active in my journey as a mom (the irony). You see for a long while I was passively going with the flow, hoping and wishing for better, but not putting any action. behind my faith!
I talked a good talk, expressing the challenges and struggles of my mom journey… but up until this point I’d never actually taken the steps to experience the victory on the other side of struggle and overwhelm. It was familiar. (Crazy how we can sometimes stay stuck bc of familiarity. A whole word for another blog post)
Did God speak to me, not audibly… but I felt Him guiding me through the process of overcoming the overwhelm … it was not an overnight victory… I had to get super intentional about my life, my time; setting my expectations, realigning my priorities, and setting boundaries in place to support who I wanted to be as a whole mom and the life I desired for myself!
And I’m so proud of how my life has transformed, using this process!
❤️I’m confident in my abilities as a whole mom. I can now say without hesitation “I’m a great momma, and I deserve the best”
❤️I’ve given myself permission to unapologetically manifest overflow in my life. No more waiting and wishing, I’m claiming and manifesting EVERYTHING I DESIRE!
❤️I’ve created routines and systems that support the work/life harmony that is my promise as a mom! My life is in alignment, and the areas of my life from being a wife, business owner… even my wardrobe… all work in together and are in agreement!
❤️I’ve overcome mom guilt, overwhelm and burn out, and have strategies in place to help me to remain in a place of victory. God does not want me to sit in overwhelm, I am His daughter and I am more than a conqueror!
❤️ I am now a top priority in my life, and give of myself from a place of overflow. I make time for me, and hold the space to process, grow, learn, shift, release, receive and feel all that is needed on this journey of being. I love myself, and treat myself with the utmost care, love and respect.
Although challenging, I’m so grateful for my journey, and the transformation I’ve experienced in my life… because it’s led me to create a whole 5-step process that I can now teach to other moms who are stuck in that same place!
Momma, if you’ve been reading this… nodding in agreement… near tears because you’re so over the struggle… then I invite you to join my for my upcoming training just for mommas who are ready to Overcome the Overwhelm!
On Wednesday, January 13th @ 7pm EST myself along with others bomb mommas like yourself are going to embark on a journey together like never before! Overwhelm is not your promise, and I’m here to guide you to the other side.
Simply click the image above or the link here to register and join us. And if you’re concerned about being able to attend live, a 7-day replay will be available. I Cannot wait to serve you and show you how to Overcome the Overwhelm!
Okay sooooo, this past week hubby and I watched the show “Love is Blind” on Netflix!! Did you see it? No? Do yourself a favor and catch it during this COVID19 lockdown. You will not be disappointed.
I saw Vanessa Lachey (she hosted the show with her hubby Nick) and immediately thought of this Christmas movie, A Twist of Christmas. She was some sort of reporter and had an opportunity to interview a best selling author who was the face of “managing it all/you can have it all” for moms! Yes, this man was the “expert” on keeping all things at home in order. Crazy!!! Lol
During this interview, she mentioned how she felt like somewhat of a failure because she hadn’t been able to keep up with all that he spoke about in his book. She felt like her life wasn’t together, especially as a single mom with a career!
Then it happened… the author slipped up and shared his secret to success! He goes “Oh, I have people for all of that…” He has:
🗣 a maid
🗣 a cook
🗣 an assistant…etc
Lawd! A whole lie! This man wrote a whole book as if he were doing it all, when in reality he had people working behind the scenes for him! Y’all, I was feeling some sort of way… yelling at the screen with all my black girl magic! 🗣😂
Okay! I know it’s just a movie, but man oh man, did it give me some serious perspective!
1. Don’t compare to others. (Obvi, but I needed the reminder)
In the movie, Vanessa felt like a failure because she couldn’t keep up with the ideals/lifestyle put forth in that best selling book. But how many of us as women/moms/mommypreneurs feel like failures/”less than” because we feel that we can’t keep up with our counterparts based solely on what we see posted on social media? I know I did at one point! I follow a lot of influencers who are also moms, and Before Dream got here I thought I could manage my life/time/business the same way they did.
Not only was I wrong,but I soon realized as I got into the “thick of it” and actually had to raise Dream, not many spoke of their challenges. Yes, some shared an “it’s challenging” post here and there, but the images seemed so perfect I thought there was no way that they could relate to my situation. For a moment, I felt alone in this mommypreneur space. Not fun. Thank God for my people who swooped in and quickly got me together!
Comparison kills in every area of life! And for me, comparing what I’m able to do in this season with what I see others doing, isn’t wise! God has graced me to live MY LIFE, not theirs. So with that, when I see others going on vacations, or other mommypreneurs who are traveling/speaking/hosting/ living baby free, and showing up in life and business differently than I am… I cannot compare. Their “behind the scenes” isn’t the same as mine and that’s okay! Whether they decide to share what’s happening behind the scenes or not, it’s none of my business. I still celebrate! I truly want us ALL to win, however, I don’t live my life trying to keep up!
“God has called and graced me to live MY LIFE, not theirs”
2. Be REAL and authentic with your platform/message/story
As I’m sharing more of what it’s like for me to be A WHOLE MOM, who is also building her empire… I have to be real!
🗣It’s fun at times, and other times it’s EXTREMELY FRUSTRATING!
🗣I get it right some days, and other days… Lord Help Me😭😂
I’m here to use my journey, my story (Lessons learned and victories), to empower other mommas who are building as well! I love pretty pictures, and I’m pretty good with sprinkling my words with just the right amount of sparkle to keep up appearances. But is that impact as God designed?
The word says “His power is made perfect in my weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). So when we share our story… those authentic, imperfect parts of us that won’t fit behind an Instagram filter… I truly believe God’s power shows up in a mighty way!
So I’m grateful for this opportunity. I’m living what I share.
I don’t have a maid, a cook, or an assistant, but I do have:
🗣 A voice
🗣 A story
🗣and the passion to help myself and other women in my shoes OWN everything God has for us!
I recently shared a post reflecting on how things have totally changed over the past 365 days (read that here). I went from being a solo-preneur standing smack dab in the middle of purpose… to birthing a mini boss, and instantly becoming a mommypreneur. LAWD! Talk about TRANSITION. So, Today I’m taking it a bit further and sharing 3 ways I’ve been able to find harmony in my life! Whether you’re a mom of 1 or a mom of 5… a new mom or have been a mom for some time… this post is just for you! Especially if you are navigating that space of building an empire! Read with an open heart and Be encouraged!
1. First things first.
I’m not sure how you prioritize your life, but this year I’ve been extremely intentional about mine:
2. Family/home (Dream and Keem)
With my priorities in check, I’m able to better manage how I make business decisions. If a business decisions or commitment doesn’t align with what God has spoken over my life, or pulls me away from my family… it makes it easy to say “not this time”. I think may of us as moms don’t have our priorities straight. We say, “Family first”, but our decisions say the EXACT opposite. The first step to finding and maintaining harmony in your life as a mom on a mission is to keep your commitments in alignment with your priorities and values! Ask:
-What’s most important to you?
-How can you better prioritize your life, keeping first things first?
“Harmony is achieved only after you’ve identified what’s most important and prioritize accordingly”.
2. Pray & plan ahead. Pivot as needed!
There are certain things that I know I want to complete weekly and if I don’t plan for them, like literally write them down in my planner AND on the calendar, I know I will miss it.
Whether it’s setting aside time to write an article, recording a new video series, hit the grocery store, pump (yes I’m still nursing), coordinate visits/play dates, update my website, do the laundry, correspond/meet with clients, ETC… it takes some SERIOUS and Intentional planning. And how I plan lines up with what I’ve prioritized! Yes, there are days when I just go with the flow, because that’s the only way to survive the day (😩😭😂), but I have a general plan for my week, in writing, to keep me on target!
I’m all about FLOW! And no, this isn’t a perfect situation. There have been times where I’ve planned things out to a T, and Dream just wasn’t on board. Take this post for example. I planned and set aside time to write, during Dream’s nap time. However, my teething 8-month old needed her mommy (poor thing)! And so here I am, typing while nursing! Anyone with kids will tell you, no two days are alike. So pray, plan and pivot as needed!
What are your weekly non-negotiables?
How can you plan ahead to account for those moments when your baby/babies aren’t in agreement?
“Planning ahead and taking action is a success strategy. Prayer and staying connected to THE Source is key”!
3. Check in, OFTEN!
Whether it’s communicating with your spouse, or checking in with yourself and reflecting on what is working… check in often! Celebrate your wins (no matter how small), and adjust as needed. For me I seriously had MORE time to work in my business when Dream was a little younger. I could put her in her bouncers/swing for self play and use those moments to get things done. But now… NOW that this little yummy nugget is mobile, and I barely have the time to even respond to an email. Why? Because I have to keep my eyes on her at ALL times 😭😭😭. With that, I had to do three things:
1. Check in with myself to determine what I needed to flourish in this season. I had to reassess my commitments how I plan to keep them.
2. Adjust my daily “routine” while I’m home alone with Dream to be in alignment with my current reality. She is sleeping much less during the day, so my availability and “free time” is no longer the same. I have to adjust accordingly.
3. Communicate with my hubby to figure out our schedules, to see how I could add in some productive/work time while he’s home. I also had to cut bak in other areas
Once I made the shift, harmony was not that far behind. I went from being overwhelmed and frustrated, feeling like I couldn’t get ANYTHING done… to discovering creative ways to pursue purpose! God is bomb like that. As you acknowledge HIM… He directs you’re every move! His is the MASTER CREATOR, and there is no part of your life that He can’t remedy!
-How have things changed for you over the past few months?
-How can you adjust to reignite the harmony in your life?
As things change around you, YOU MUST ADJUST. Check in often, acknowledge the change, seek God for wisdom and PIVOT!
Bonus: GET DRESSED!
I shower and get dressed every day. I have things in my wardrobe that are easy to throw on but are well coordinated to make me feel like somebody! Okay! I cannot stress the importance of showing up for yourself in this way. For me it’s an instant mood boost. Walking around in my robe all day vs. walking around in a jogger set or a cute pullover and some leggings. It makes a difference. Especially when I’m able to sit and work. I’m in a mental space to produce when I’m dressed.
-How can you show up for yourself with what you wear?
-What wardrobe adjustments can you make today?
“What you wear and how you show up for work is important… especially when you work for yourself”