Are Moms REALLY Blessed… all day everyday?

Are moms really blessed… all day everyday?

I used to think being “blessed” was all about focusing on the good things and good circumstances in my life. That having “good” and “favorable” things happen in my life, was truly the essence of being blessed… Until I became a mom.

I am not sure about you, but when I’m having a serious mommy moment with my little lady, or when I’m faced with checking my own expectations… or when hubby and I have to do the hard work of figuring out how to parent on one accord… that whole “children are a blessing from the Lord” can seem a bit far fetched. (Just me… oh okay)!

Listen, when I’m faced with a poop explosion, or a toddler tantrum that seems to last ALL DAY, or a toddler who is overwhelmed with extreme tiredness and refuses to sleep unless I hold her (and I have other things to do), or when I’m faced with literally NOT one THING working out as planned… I’m not thinking “I’m so blessed”. I’m actually questioning myself, trying to figure out where I went wrong, because clearly this ain’t the life God promised me.

So I’ve been really praying and thinking about it. What does it really mean to live the “blessed life” as a mom? How are we really “blessed” when we all face various tests and challenges as moms?

Then I read Matthew Chapter 5… and verse 6 stood out to me;

⁶“Blessed [joyful, nourished by God’s goodness] are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness [those who actively seek right standing with God], for they will be [completely] satisfied. Matthew 5:6 AMP

Well, that’s when it hit me. In that very moment of prayer and divine access to the Father… I felt a tiny little shift in my perspective. (Won’t He do it).

I’m not blessed simply because of what I have or because of what I do/don’t experience. I am blessed because of my position in Him. (Read that again). My position grants me access to HIM! And as I posture myself to seek/trust/obey Him, always, in the midst of EVERY triumph, trial and test, I find EVERYTHING I need. I find JOY, PEACE, REST, LOVE, STRENGTH, FAVOR, GUIDANCE, ABUNDANCE, ASSURANCE… THAT’S the blessed life!

Please don’t miss the message. Yes, I am extremely aware of how “fortunate” life is. I’m am grateful for my life, my family. I am grateful for every resource, tool and gift. I am grateful for the protection, and keeping power of my Father!

I am also grateful that my “blessed” position in Him, isn’t swayed by any of those things, nor the circumstances I am trusted to overcome!

So yes! As a mom, I can live a blessed life… ALL DAY EVERYDAY.

I am blessed because God is with me and Jesus lives within me

I am blessed because God is covering me, He is my strong tower

I am blessed because God is directing me, all I have to do is seek and I will find Him, always

I am blessed because God’s grace and mercy follow me, EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF EVERY DAY

I am blessed when life is going “great”, as well as when I’m in the midst of the tears, challenges, and difficult circumstances. I have access to Him!

We have access to Him.

We have access to everything we need because of our position in Him! And all things are working together for our good… all of it is a part of the blessed life.

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Stop Giving Your Husband Your “Leftovers” | A Lesson for the Married Mommas!

It was a Thursday evening, back in fall 2020. I’d just ended a Live Training for Mommy Stylists, while my husband took over all the evening/ night time duties with our 16 month old.

While putting away my tripod, laptop and equipment… my husband came downstairs hyped because he’d successfully put our little lady to sleep with minimal effort.

Y’all… the brother was READY to hang out.

But I was tired, and all I wanted to do was wind down and sleep.

You see this particular “Thursday” was “our day”. Before Dream was born, Thursday was our date day, and once Dream popped up on the scene, we decided it would become family day (unless we had someone to watch her, then of course we could date like old times).

But slowly and ever so surely… Thursday turned into my “work day”. 😬

It started off pretty innocently.

A quick call early in the morning before our day together started. Then a “quick” client from 7-10. But over time those “quick” work things started to become my norm, and I was working well into the time that was supposed to be just for us. I kinda noticed but hubby really noticed and was feeling some type of way.

I can’t recall exactly what happened on this day, but I do distinctly remember him saying…

“Why do I get your leftovers?”

He continued…

“You’re always so live and bubbly on Instagram and with your mom group, but how come I don’t get that same energy?”

Can you say “OUCH” 😭😭😭😭😭

Yall… I was hurt, angry and a bit overwhelmed by this truth dart. I tried to say “Babe, that’s because that’s just business, and I have an image to maintain”… but God wasn’t finna let me get away with that excuse!

My husband was 1,000% right…. and I knew it!

You see sometimes you don’t need to step away and pray for God to show you what you need to do… sometimes He allows you to see it right then and there and you have to decide what you’re gonna do.

So I turned to him and said “I’m so sorry”.

I’d been giving my all to so many things that season… my little lady (obvi), my clients, my image… all of it… but my husband… the love of my life… my boo bear… was getting my leftovers! And he felt it.

Although I don’t like that I allowed that to happen… I’m so grateful that:

1. He felt comfortable telling me how he felt, and was not afraid to question me and my motives (we need that sometimes)

2. That I was able to receive it and that God was able to work on my heart in the moment

Since then… I’ve made several changes…

1. I’ve intentionally put my marriage in it’s proper place. My marriage is strong, and it’s even stronger now with the challenges we overcome. I realized that my marriage is to be honored above all else, yes… above my career, serving in church…etc. If my house isn’ t in order (i.e. my marriage), then what am I really doing. Furthermore, if my hubby tried to give me his leftovers…. LAWD! No Bueno!

2. I honor the day we set aside for ourselves. I no longer work in any capacity on “our day”. If God called me to do it, then I trust that He will help me to align my life in such a way where I am able to show up in purpose, and honor my commitment to my husband and our spending time together. I’ve had to get really intentional about how I structure my week… oh and my “no” game is stronger than ever!

3. I schedule “our day” on the calendar. To show how much of a priority our time is together, I put pen to paper and schedule our time together every single week. And now that has transformed into what we call “D-Day” where we sit, discuss what’s working and how we can improve, make decisions for our lives and our family together… and we DATE!!!!

Now please don’t miss the message. There will be times when you need “a moment”. There are times when I truly don’t have “it” to give, and my hubby knows and respects that. He’s also been even more intentional about finding ways to support me when I have “one of those days”. However, if you’re constantly giving all of yourself to everyone else… your family, friends, clients… and your husband is lucky to get an ounce of time/love/affection… then I encourage you to check yourself.

That should not be the norm, momma.

Check your priorities. Are things in their proper place? Ask God to show you your blind spots. Ask God not only to open your eyes to see, but to open your heart to receive direction and correction. As wives we have to put pride aside… along with all the narratives that would tell us we’re always right and our husbands should bend to our will… and courageously do the work to make things right. Let’s stop giving our husbands our leftovers.

Your husband and your marriage are worthy of your first fruits!

Living & Learning!

xx,

Our Trip to Sesame Place + A Lesson on Expectations

Y’all I learned a serious lesson about expectations over the past few days while away with my family. I learned that if not properly set, and checked regularly, they can literally ruin a good time.

Let’s explore shall we…

So we decided to visit Sesame Place for some summer time fun. My little lady has been somewhat obsessed with Elmo the past few months, so I figured it only made sense for us to see him in person.

So I got our season pass, booked two nights at a nearby hotel, and planned to have everything packed and loaded for our adventure.

Well the day arrived. I got everything packed, and my little one surprisingly breezed through our nighttime routine. We we all set to drive through the night (during her bad time). All we had to do was wait for daddy, pack the car and head out.

Easy!

Y’all… once little miss got into that car… things got a little wild. I expected Dream to sleep during the 3 hour drive at night, but sis was looking like 👀 👀👀👀 for 99.9% of the ride. She basically said “these eyes ain’t finna close til we get where we going”! Lawd! Talk about a LONG drive!

After a long night (driving and in the hotel trying to get our little lady back to sleep), we all woke up refreshed and ready for our day. We met up with my sister who was joining us for the day, and made our way to Sesame place.

I expected the park to be nearly empty, but quickly realized I was wrong as we pulled up to see droves of people pushing their strollers and lugging their bags across the walkway. I’m like isn’t this a weekday? Isn’t the school year approaching? Isn’t this a pandemic? Talk about a total shock!

We get in, get our tickets, and I try to ease all the pressure by assuring myself that Dream was going to love it when she saw Elmo and all the rides! I expected her to run, skip and play. But sis was in observation mode most of the time. She wasn’t excited about no rides, barely flinched when Elmo came out… and seeing all those people… She was NOT IMPRESSED!

With all of this going on, I also expected my husband to have all the answers. I was tired, and didn’t want to think about anything anymore. But this… taking a toddler to an amusement park… was a brand new first time experience for both of us, and we were both figuring it out as the day went on.

It. Was. A. Whole. LOT!

I’m so grateful for my husband’s patience and for Aunt Jess helping us to go with the flow, because with the way I was feeling idk we would have left sooner rather than later lol. (THANKS GIRL)

Here’s a glimpse of our day!

It wasn’t until that night, that I realized I needed to check myself. I apologized to my hubby, and just sat with God for a few moments to release all the pressure and frustration from the trip. I seriously don’t like it when things don’t go my way. I was disappointed, but I also knew I wanted to posture myself to learn from this moment.

The next morning, after prayer and talking to my therapist, I realized that I didn’t leave room for the “what if”. I just expected things to go my way, and when they didn’t… I didn’t have any type of recovery plan in place, which led to my frustration and dissapointment.

Like…

I expected my little lady to sleep through the night on our drive… but I didn’t have a plan for what to do if she doesn’t.

I expected for my little lady to have the time of her life… but I didn’t prepare for how I would respond if she didn’t

I expected my husband to take over… but I didn’t communicate my needs or prepare for what to do if neither one of us had an answer

You see expectations aren’t bad, but we must be super careful that we are being realistic especially when we put those expectations on others (especially on our children, spouses and loved ones). I am an optimist by nature, I’m also learning when you travel with a toddler ALWAYS HAVE a back up plan… ALWAYS!!!!

I can’t control the circumstances, but I can control how I respond. I can also have a plan (or two) in place for what to do if things don’t go as expected.

I won’t get got again.

XX,

Let’s Talk | “Mommy Pressure” and how to get unstuck

Let’s Talk, “mommy pressure” 😭. We’ve all felt it before, and whether you want to admit it to yourself or not… it’s keeping you from creating and living a life that excites you! Let’s change that! If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed with the “demands” of motherhood… this is for you!! It’s time to get unstuck, release that mommy pressure, and create a life that excites you!

Love what you’re seeing? Don’t want to miss any other posts or videos? Well, be sure to LIKE, COMMENT, and most importantly SHARE with a momma who needs this! And be sure to connect with me on Instagram @Reese__Dennis♥️♥️

👀Disclaimer: This is not medical advice. If you’re experiences symptoms of postpartum depression and anxiety please call your medical professional ASAP. If you are not able to reach them and feel like you want to harm yourself or your child please call 911 immediately. For further assistance or to talk to a licensed mental health professional please see the resources listed below.

http://www.psychologytoday.com
http://www.melaninandmentalhealth.com
“Therapy for black girls”

🔥Get my free affirmation & reflection guide just for moms here: http://www.ownyourslayuniversity.com/bibleformoms

🔥Learn how to Build your confidence and SLAY on camera here: http://www.ownyourslayuniversity.com/videobootcamp

xx Reese

Let’s Talk | Mom life & getting “unstuck”

I’m super excited about this month’s cover stories!!

One of the main things I’m determined to do is to create a life that I love; a life that serves me! A life that I can be proud of, where I am not only showing up for myself… but one where I am becoming and fully embracing the woman I know God is calling me to be… yes, as a whole mom.

I know you feel the same. I know that you know you’re more than a mommy. I know you desire to rewrite the narrative, and you want to live your absolute best life…. as a wife, a mom, a business owner… as a woman!

And as eager as you are to redefine mom life on your terms, and FINALLY create a life that excites you…

YOU. FEEL. STUCK.

You can’t seem to figure out how to finally move forward and embrace the beauty of who you know you want to become. You’re trying your best to show up, but you can’t seem to get past the disappointment of things not going as you expected. You’ve even gotten to the point of trying to force things to work out; trying to keep up appearances because you want to prove that you can do it all… instead of operating in the flow and freedom that God has for you….

Well… It’s time to get unstuck and walk in the freedom that God has for you! I’m so grateful to be used by Him!

This month is all about getting “unstuck” and we’re starting with the basics! Because let me tell you this….You will never be able to create & live a life that excites you until you do this one thing!

So if you’re ready to walk in freedom, Check out my first July cover story (video) below, and as always be sure to comment, and share with a momma who needs this!

Love what you’re seeing? Don’t want to miss any other posts or videos? Well, be sure to LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE and SUBSCRIBE! And be sure to connect with me on Instagram @Reese__Dennis♥️♥️