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Make The Time | #marriedlife

Over the past month, I’ve been sharing more and more about the importance of the day Thursday, with some of my married friends. “What’s so important about this day”, you ask? Well this is my standing “date-day” with my Boo Bear, and it’s off limits.

Keem and I learned early in our marriage just how important it is to “make the time” for each other. During our pre-marital counseling, our marriage mentors made sure that we picked a day and stuck to it! We’re nearly 4 years in, and Thursday is still our day!

Life gets so busy, that we sometimes overlook the things/people we’ve been neglecting. Now of course keem and I see each other every day, but we made a decision to make INTENTIONAL time for each other!

Each Thursday looks different. Sometimes we coordinate workouts, and hang out in the house. Sometimes we go grocery shopping at Wegmans and stop to eat at the hot bar. And other times we plan full out date trips to amusements parks or to dinner and a movie! What we do doesn’t really matter, the key is to spend time together… intentionally! Phones down, work put away… just me and my Boo Bear!

Now, this is not a new topic on the blog, but it’s totally worth repeating!

Take a look at your marriage, and ask yourself, “when was the last time my honey and I actually made plans to hang out”? If you’re finding it hard to remember specifics, a date day is in order! Now I know you may have “life” going on… but what is life if you’re not building with your spouse? And if you have kids, what will you have to stand on once the kids are grown, if you haven’t spent any time together?

Remember, it’s not what you do that’s most important… although it should be fun and enjoyable! It’s who you’re doing it with… and being intentional about that time together!

Make every effort, to make the time!

Reese

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3 Birthday Lessons for the Wise Wife | “I Wasn’t Ready” #MarriedLife

A few weeks ago, I took some time off to celebrate my hubby’s birthday!  I thought I knew what he wanted, and tried to plan accordingly. #Girlwhy. In the end,  after a really good look in the mirror, I learned 3 valuable lessons that I DID NOT SEE COMING (Do y’all see that picture… #ACCURATE)! Don’t get me wrong, we had a great time together, but with the way God has my life set up… there is always a lesson waiting for me around the corner! 

Lesson 1: Listen

I love to celebrate birthdays. I was raised that way, and it is something that has been a part of my entire life! Breakfast in the morning, and a family dinner of my choice at night to commemorate this special occasion! And if you know me, I usually prefer all the bells and whistles.  Keem on the other hand isn’t as big of a “birthday person” as I am. As a matter of fact he was very clear that for his birthday THIS YEAR he wanted to stay low key. But did I listen? Of course not. I just had to go on with my “grand” plans (insert  face-palm emoji)!

Well, my grand plans fell through, and I put unnecessary pressure on myself by trying to come up with something last minute. I had great intentions, but if I’m being honest, I totally disregarded his birthday request (insert face-palm emoji).  So I had to make thing right, and I apologized for not listening. I even had to apologize for making him feel OBLIGATED to come up with something when I asked, “what do you want to do for your birthday”… when he ALREADY told me.  I’m so thankful for this lesson, and grateful that it didn’t ruin our time together.  Oh, but what stress I could have avoided had I just listened from the jump! 

Ladies, I know sometimes we try to “read between the lines”, but let me encourage you… listen and take what your hubby says as what he means! Most often he is not speaking in coded language.

Lesson 2; Apologize quickly!

When you KNOW you’re wrong, make it right… QUICKLY! Many times our egos get in the way, (yes, women have egos),  and we let things fester. We look for ways to justify our actions, when deep down inside God’s conviction has already set in.  Don’t silence it… move as He directs. Repent, pray for the words to say and humble yourself. We, as women, are NOT always right! I’d love to say, I am… but that would be a WHOLE LIE!  Lord knows I am far from perfect, but I am learning to make things right, quickly.  Why? Because we already know marriages are under attack,  and the last thing you want to do is knowingly give place for confusion and discord to take root.

So ladies… apologize quickly. And to some of you… you need to apologize now!

Lesson 3; Honor the small things.

Over the past year, I’ve become more aware of the fact that Keem ACTUALLY reads those nutritional guides (you know, the information on the food labels/packages). Clearly, this is an important practice for him, but I couldn’t care less.  I’d rip open packages, and tear off labels with no regret. So, Here I was again,  disregarding my husband’s request because I  didn’t care about it (emphasis on “I”). Well God was at work, and it dawned on me that I needed to honor this “small” thing, and make the effort to keep the nutritional facts. If it’s important to him, then it is certainly worth the effort.

So the other week, after I opened a pack of brownies for Keem’s Birthday Sundae,  instead of throwing out the sticker that held the package together, I stuck it onto the container. Why? Because it listed all of the nutritional facts for the brownies! And do you know what this man said to me, when he saw that gently handled wrapper stuck to the package? He came and said “I know you love me, because you kept this sticker”. #winning

Now let me be clear. Of course it’s not about the sticker, or the nutritional facts, but rather the practice of honoring the needs of your spouse. Ladies, We don’t always have to go against the grain just because it’s not important to us. Stop dismissing your husband’s requests as “no big deal”. It’s OK to fully surrender, and put in the effort simply because it’s important to him.

Be Encouraged!

Reese

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The Way He Looks at Me | The Struggle was Real

There is nothing like having someone say I could tell she was your honey by the way you looked at her all night”!

………………………….

That’s what someone said to my hubby this past weekend, while at a wedding celebration. It was like music to my ears! I felt so warm and yummy inside… but can you believe I didn’t always like/appreciate the way he looked at me? Crazy, right? I know, but it’s oh so true! 

A short while ago, whenever I’d catch my hubby looking at me, I’d often respond by asking “what’s wrong? Is it my hair/makeup? What are you looking at?” This list goes on and on, with all the negative things I’d come up with. To my surprise… my hubby wouldn’t take the bait. He’d look at me and say, “I like what I see.

You see, when you struggle with self-esteem,  you often take another’s gaze as an implication of imperfection, rather than admiration.   For me, I kept thinking “can someone really just ‘like’ what they see when they look at me”? The struggle was too real

But there’s this thing called LOVE! And when you begin to discover how to truly love yourself,  you don’t mind when others join in on the celebration! #it’saword

It’s been a long journey to get to this place (so many stories), but I am so thankful to be here. I love the woman I am becoming… and… I, too, like what I see when I look at me! I love myself, and I know just how wonderfully The Master made me! I am beautifully snatched for His glory! ( #snatchedforHisglory … Just wait on it!)

So now, when my hubby looks at me, I can appreciate every moment of his admiration and affection! No negative thoughts; although, he will let me know if I have chip crumbs on my chin! I can now appreciate his gaze, and smile in return! My hubby loves me, and to know that he only has eyes for me is beyond wonderful.

Yes, I’m flawed. But more importantly,

I’m loved and I am his honey ❤

Reese

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Baecation in the Dominican| “We Stopped Waiting for the ‘Perfect’ Moment”

I’m back!

I’ve been away with my Boo Bear in the Dominican, to celebrate our 3 year wedding anniversary!  How was it? Well, if you’ve ever been to an all-inclusive resort, on a beautiful island, with the love of your life… then you already know the trip was #LIT! And I’m back to share a few flicks, and 3 important lessons learned while overseas!

1. Stop waiting for the right moment and create it! Stop waiting and start living!

Keem and I have been babysitting our passports for the past few months. We were literally waiting for everything to align; our jobs, schedules… etc. We’d sit around and dream/talk about how we can’t wait to take a vacation one day soon. It wasn’t until we heard a talk from Les Brown, that we decided to stop waiting for the “perfect” moment! Tomorrow isn’t promised, all we have is today.  So we booked our first trip out of the country together, and didn’t look back! And the funny thing is that once we made that move… EVERYTHING else came into alignment, and we had the time of our lives! 

If you’re babysitting an idea or a “move”… stop! Take that first step.  Make the phone call, book that flight… leave that job (did I say it, I did)!  Stop waiting for the perfect moment to do what you need/want… CREATE IT!

2. Enjoy the experience

There was so much to take in.  If you’ve ever traveled out of the country then you know it can be overwhelming, especially is there is a language barrier. But Keem and I decided that we were both going to step out of our comfort zones, and enjoy the experience of it all! We didn’t want that “overwhelmed” feeling to keep us trapped in our resort room… We had VIP access, and we just couldn’t let it go to waste.  So we went out, embraced the unknown… and guess what? It was BOMB! From me using my 6 years of Spanish, to “flying” with Superman… all the way to Keem dancing Bachata with me at the pool party…  (yes my honey came to the dance floor just for me ❤)… it was everything and so much more! 

 Now, whenever something arises that challenges us to step out of the box , we have a simple word to remind ourselves to live in the moment; “Experiencion“! (Totally made up, but it’s our thing and I love it!)

So if you find yourself in a situation where you are being challenged to step out of your comfort zone, or faced with feeling overwhelmed… push beyond those feelings and enjoy the experience. Live in the moment, and don’t let the unknown trap you and keep you from living your best life. #livingmybestlife2018

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3. Bonding is the key

The other night as we reflected on our trip, we realized just how much we needed it. Although we see each other everyday, we needed this time to bond and reconnect. We were totally disconnected from our “normal” day to day. No WiFi, no work calls, no social media… just my honey and I! Yes, we are young and in love, but the busyness of life is a real distraction #realtalk. 

So if you’re married, be sure to set aside DEDICATED TIME just for reconnecting.

No, of course you don’t have to leave the country to bond with your spouse, but I’d say be very deliberate with keeping the distraction at bay. Leave the house, find a babysitter if you can, and put the phone down.   I’ve personally gotten into the habit of turning my phone on airplane mode when we go out. Some say extreme, I say I want to give my man my undivided attention when we set aside the time to date!

Yes, it’s just that important!

 

Be encouraged (and live) ❤

Reese

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🎥 Video| The One Cooking Lesson that Changed my Perspective |#marriedlife

Hey ladies! I’m back with another quick video🎥! Yaaaassss!!! I can’t help but keep it real! Check it out! I’m sharing a personal truth (#pleasedontjudgeme)… and talking about a very important, nearly life changing, cooking lesson from this past weekend! Enjoy and Be Encouraged!💕🤗💕