A few weeks ago, I took some time off to celebrate my hubby’s birthday! I thought I knew what he wanted, and tried to plan accordingly. #Girlwhy. In the end, after a really good look in the mirror, I learned 3 valuable lessons that I DID NOT SEE COMING (Do y’all see that picture… #ACCURATE)! Don’t get me wrong, we had a great time together, but with the way God has my life set up… there is always a lesson waiting for me around the corner!
Lesson 1: Listen
I love to celebrate birthdays. I was raised that way, and it is something that has been a part of my entire life! Breakfast in the morning, and a family dinner of my choice at night to commemorate this special occasion! And if you know me, I usually prefer all the bells and whistles. Keem on the other hand isn’t as big of a “birthday person” as I am. As a matter of fact he was very clear that for his birthday THIS YEAR he wanted to stay low key. But did I listen? Of course not. I just had to go on with my “grand” plans (insert face-palm emoji)!
Well, my grand plans fell through, and I put unnecessary pressure on myself by trying to come up with something last minute. I had great intentions, but if I’m being honest, I totally disregarded his birthday request (insert face-palm emoji). So I had to make thing right, and I apologized for not listening. I even had to apologize for making him feel OBLIGATED to come up with something when I asked, “what do you want to do for your birthday”… when he ALREADY told me. I’m so thankful for this lesson, and grateful that it didn’t ruin our time together. Oh, but what stress I could have avoided had I just listened from the jump!
Ladies, I know sometimes we try to “read between the lines”, but let me encourage you… listen and take what your hubby says as what he means! Most often he is not speaking in coded language.
Lesson 2; Apologize quickly!
When you KNOW you’re wrong, make it right… QUICKLY! Many times our egos get in the way, (yes, women have egos), and we let things fester. We look for ways to justify our actions, when deep down inside God’s conviction has already set in. Don’t silence it… move as He directs. Repent, pray for the words to say and humble yourself. We, as women, are NOT always right! I’d love to say, I am… but that would be a WHOLE LIE! Lord knows I am far from perfect, but I am learning to make things right, quickly. Why? Because we already know marriages are under attack, and the last thing you want to do is knowingly give place for confusion and discord to take root.
So ladies… apologize quickly. And to some of you… you need to apologize now!
Lesson 3; Honor the small things.
Over the past year, I’ve become more aware of the fact that Keem ACTUALLY reads those nutritional guides (you know, the information on the food labels/packages). Clearly, this is an important practice for him, but I couldn’t care less. I’d rip open packages, and tear off labels with no regret. So, Here I was again, disregarding my husband’s request because I didn’t care about it (emphasis on “I”). Well God was at work, and it dawned on me that I needed to honor this “small” thing, and make the effort to keep the nutritional facts. If it’s important to him, then it is certainly worth the effort.
So the other week, after I opened a pack of brownies for Keem’s Birthday Sundae, instead of throwing out the sticker that held the package together, I stuck it onto the container. Why? Because it listed all of the nutritional facts for the brownies! And do you know what this man said to me, when he saw that gently handled wrapper stuck to the package? He came and said “I know you love me, because you kept this sticker”. #winning
Now let me be clear. Of course it’s not about the sticker, or the nutritional facts, but rather the practice of honoring the needs of your spouse. Ladies, We don’t always have to go against the grain just because it’s not important to us. Stop dismissing your husband’s requests as “no big deal”. It’s OK to fully surrender, and put in the effort simply because it’s important to him.