It’s week 5 of the Fierce 5💍 Marriage Series, and we’re ending the series with another BOMB feature!! Yaaaasssss! The super fly Lady Shante Baldwin, is dropping gems! Married for 14 years, check out what she has to say about respecting differences, affirming your spouse’s leadership, and how to embrace the “waiting room”.
and what has being married for xx years taught you?
I have been married for 14 years, going on 15 in August. As I reflect on the last 14, one of the things it has taught me was to respect our differences. See we are different in many ways, He is an extrovert and I am an introvert. He’s out going and I’m laid back. Over the years I had to learn that our personalities are not the same. We were different in the way we walked, the way we talked, the way we moved etc. This brought on lots of disagreements. I like purple I like blue, it doesn’t take all that, it does take all that lol. Then finally it was an “aha” moment in my marriage where I recognized, I had to master my husband’s personality to understand why he does what he does, and thinks the way he thinks. I was stretched beyond my understanding. During the process, there were many ups and downs, heated fellowships and challenging moments, but love would win every time. Knowing your spouse’s personality is key. This will bring peace within the marriage and help you to understand your spouse more and more.
2. You are definitely a “woman of purpose” how have you navigated that space of being a help-mate for your husband, and a woman with a purpose/platform/ministry? What challenges have you had to overcome and how?
Navigating through being a helpmate to my Husband and a woman of purpose was challenging at times. At one point, I was working full time, taking care of the household, we had three children and the ministry. You can imagine lol. I was meeting with women in the ministry, preparing for women fellowships, and so much more. It became challenging and the load was heavy. I was confronted with needing to create balance that would not disrupt my home. I prayed and sought the Lord for wisdom. I knew that I was to be that proverbs 31 women. Having a true man of God makes all the difference, because we both knew we were called to be a Man and a Women of purpose, we had to come up with something that worked for us. We worked together, shared the tasks at hand, and split the responsibilities. We overcame by understanding each other’s unique identity, talents, calling etc. One of the things that my husband and myself would always say we were “married on purpose”.
The bible tells us to submit to our husbands as unto the Lord. Submission does not mean that a wife is inferior, less intelligent or less competent than her husband. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have a voice or that he is controlling, it’s about trusting your husband to lead the family and aligning your heart with the vision of the marriage. It gives the wife the opportunity to affirm his leadership. As a new wife, you must allow your husband to lead in a way that he submits to the Lord, and you submit to him. It’s nothing wrong with you giving input, asking questions and helping. Submit in a way that he knows that you are his biggest cheerleader and got his back.
4. What about the singles who want to be married, and feel like they’ve been waiting FOREVER? What does it truly mean to “wait on God” as a single woman waiting to be found? Is it just a cliche?
What a great question. Waiting on God is not a cliché at all. I waited! Ladies be encouraged in the waiting room. It does not mean you sit around and wait for your mate. Waiting on the Lord truly means that you embrace this moment. Use this time to become:
A lady of reckless abandon, unlocking the treasures that are inside of you.
A lady of diligence being diligent with your relationship with the Lord.
A lady of virtue sharing high moral standards, not compromising in any way shape or form, but working on yourself.
Become a woman that is whole and let Him find you serving the Lord, emotionally healthy, and Spiritually sound. When he shows up, you will be ready, set and sound to receive who God has for you.
5. Anything else/advice/wisdom you feel led to share?
Ladies remember that there is not another you! Whatever your position is, whether you are married or single, show up well and Maximize Destiny Now!!!
Yasssss to all of the above! Love what you’re reading! Be sure to comment below and let us know your thoughts! We’re going LIVE for another Fierce 5 chat and changing this up a bit! So be sure to connect with me on Facebook so you don’t miss out!
And be sure to connect with me on Instagram, @reese__dennis, for a more wisdom from the Fierce 5💍 ! Can’t wait to hear from you!