Marriage Mondays with “The Fierce 5”; Gail James

Hey ladies! It’s Monday, so you know what that means? Marriage Mondays with‘The Fierce 5″! These are the 5 women who, over the past few years, have poured into my life as a young women and as a wife. I’ve learned so much from each of them, and thankfully have avoided many mistakes due to the wisdom they’ve shared with me. So you know I had to share the wealth! Yaaaasss!! Today, we’ll hear from Gail James. This post hit home for me this week, and I’m so grateful!  Whether this advice is hitting you for the first time, or coming as a timely reminder, be sure to chime in and let us know! Be encouraged! – Reese

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How many years have you been married? What has being married taught you?   

I have been married for 21 years.  May 11^th will make it 22 years. I have learned a lot and have grown since the beginning.  I believe God put my husband and I together. Because of this, I am committed to making our marriage work.  In the beginning, I saw faults in my husband and wished he would change.  I looked at him but not at myself.  But as I prayed for our relationship, God had me focus not on him, but on myself and how I could change for the better.  As I prayed for God to change things in me, my husband would change.  I prayed for things such as make me a better wife, a better lover, a better listener, make me more sensitive to his needs, his moods and when to discuss things with him.  I used to want to discuss things with him as soon as he got home from work.  But, he had to “catch himself” as he called it, which meant decompressing from the stress of the work day.  As I learned to give him that time when he arrived home, ½ hour later he was fine.  In the beginning, my husband had a hard time saying, “I’m sorry”.  I would say it first to keep the peace, even if I felt I wasn’t wrong.  Again, as I prayed, he began to say it first, and even elaborate why he was wrong.  Part of the growth is really learning your mate and what makes him the person he is. 

Another thing we do now is not wait for special holidays or occasions to give gifts or cards.  We give them all throughout the year, just to say “I love you”.  We also tease each other during the day when we are home, share love taps, etc. to keep the affection going all day.  It all works to build a great marriage.     

What are 3 key ingredients that have helped you build a healthy marriage?

God at the center of our relationship.  Praying daily for our relationship, for my husband, his challenges, and praying  he allows God to direct him in all things, especially since he is the head of our household. 

Love, commitment, fun and time together.

Forgiveness and patience.

 What word of advice/wisdom do you have for the young wife?

Marriage takes work every day.  Appreciate him for his gifts and talents.  Be patience, quick to forgive, be honest, loving and don’t sweat the small stuff.  So he doesn’t put the socks in the hamper…  don’t lose sleep over it.  Just pick them up and put them in the hamper.  You would miss them if he were not around.  And spend quality time together, quiet time, prayer time, watching a movie, traveling, going out, and of course “rocking it”. (Oh, Yasss -Reese, lol)

What about the singles? What word of advice can you share to help the single women, who desires to be married?

When I was single, a good friend gave me this advice.  Enjoy life being single, go places, do things.  That is how you meet people.  And, when it is your time, you and your mate’s paths will cross. 

Anything else/advice/wisdom you feel led to share? 

“He is your King and you are his Queen.  Let him know it every day”. 

Marriage is a serious commitment. The two become one flesh and that is real.  No joke.  Stay faithful and committed to each other and know if God put you together, no man can break you apart.  You have to be willing to grow and to change for the better, as your mate will be doing the same.  And be careful who you share info with about your marriage.  You should share with a select few who are confidential and married. 

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