As a newlywed, a lot of people have an opinion about what my husband and I “should/shouldn’t do”, especially with regards to our first married year/holidays together. Nothing malicious at all, just opinions that caused a great deal of pressure. I got caught up at first. Then it dawned on me; this is our life and we will live it as we please! Some of you may have experience this same pressure. You may have certain goals and aspirations in mind, and you’re trying to handle all the uninvited opinions that other have for your life. So I’ve decided to share what I’ve learned to do, and I hope it helps you as well:
1. Hold your peace: Peace of mind is more important than the best of clap-backs! Some opinions aren’t even worth entertaining, especially when they come without provocation. It’s one thing to go to a trusted source, and ask them to dissect your life. When that’s the case, then I expect them to let me have it. Dig deep and help me get my life in order. However, if I didn’t ask and it is not worth a response, I simply don’t entertain it. Especially when I know they don’t have my best interest in mind.
2. Use your words: If you feel the need to respond, put your words to good use and create a standard response. Here are two of my favorites: “It’s unfortunate that your feelings differ from how I plan to live my life”, and “No, I don’t plan to do it that way, but I appreciate your concern”. Feel free to use at will, and proceed to exit stage left.
3. Don’t tell everything you know: This is probably one of the most important lessons I’ve learned! Keep your personal life, marriage, goals and aspirations under lock and key. Yes, we all need accountability, but take a break from posting and sharing every detail of your life and hustle. Hustle in private, enlist the help of an accountability partner/mentor, and let the results of your labor do all of the bragging. The less you share, the less access people have to your life. If people don’t know what you’re up to, then they won’t have an opportunity to create an opinion.
This is your time. This is your year! Make it count!