Keep it stylish,
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to be negative? #frfr We live in such an imperfect world, encounter imperfect people, and often our imperfect situations get the best of us. The past week was particularly challenging for me, with regards to maintaining a positive attitude. Like, I know I’m usually the one who shines light and looks for “the good” in the darkest of nights, but this past week it was tough! I had to pray and consciously shift my thinking, my attitude, and my atmosphere! It wasn’t a perfect shift, but I did it! And I want to take a moment to share with you 3 things that I’ve embrace, that will help you regain and maintain a positive attitude in the midst of the storm:
1. Have your moment; then embrace the power of 3: When life happens give yourself a moment to have a moment. Cry (this is me), scream, and do whatever it is that you need to do to release that immediate rush of emotions that seemingly take over! But don’t stay there! After your moment call out three things for which you are thankful, (and I strongly encourage you to do this BEFORE you call or text your friends to let them know what has happened)! This will help you to refocus on the good in your life! For example, If you are in transition at your job, instead of focusing on all of the negative that has happened focus on the blessing of your present:
2. Protect your aura: Misery loves company, and a complaining tongue is looking for a listening ear! So when “Negative Nancy“, “Lying Laverne” and “Gary the Gossip” huddle (or try to call you up) to discuss the goings-on, beware! Most often when you engage in conversations with people like this, all those negative thoughts begin to settle in and take over (especially if they go unchecked)! And if you’re not careful, you will begin to talk that same talk, and it will feel like quicksand trying to get out! Take it from someone who knows firsthand, and do your best to protect your aura. Surround yourself with positive people, who are able to acknowledge reality, and focus on the blessing of the “bright-side“.
3. Always look to learn: We all know this truth, but it is so easy to ignore. Being able to looking at a situation, and focus on what you can/have learned, takes real effort! But taking the time to learn from a mistake or disappointing situation is well worth it! For me, I like to write down what I’ve learned, or what I need to improve upon! Prayer is key with this step! 🙏🏾Taking the time to ask God what He is trying to teach and show you is the absolute best! He is all knowing! And believe me nothing compares to having peace and clarity about your circumstances!
Keep it stylishly Positive,
A few days ago I had an amazing conversation with my God-mother! We talked about marriage, our friends, and of course we had to discuss our latest fashion finds. As we spoke, my Aunt mentioned how she love seeing other women “tear it up”! She went on to say , “When you are confident with who you are, and you know that you are not in competition with anyone, you are able to uplift others.” #Truth
We share this trait! If you know me, then you know that I love those moments of telling/reminding other women of just how fabulous they are! Whether it be in what they wear, or how effortlessly they use their God-given gifts, I love letting my sisters know “I see you, boo”!
Too often we see/hear women tearing each other down; criticizing the smallest of faults, spreading the most horrible rumors, and looking for ways to rain on the parade. But today, I am challenging you to join me in a 5-day movement to uplift those around you!
Day 1 (Monday): “Take a look in the Mirror”: The ability to genuinely uplift, compliment or encourage someone else starts with you! It requires confidence. On this day, take the time to celebrate who you are, how far you’ve come… and get excited about where you are going! Today, we celebrate YOU!
Day 2 (Tuesday): “Build up your inner circle”: Birds of a feather, flock together. Take this day to focus on those closest to you. Whether your husband, your bestie or your family; Pray, and watch how those opportunities to speak life come flooding in!
Day 3 (Wednesday): “Hump day, your office needs a lift”: Our places of employment aren’t always the best, but I encourage you on this day to seek ways to uplift those in your work space. Are you struggling with feelings of jealousy because someone may have been promoted quicker, or perhaps their presentation was more well-received than yours? That’s your challenge right there! (So not easy, but oh so liberating. Remember, you are not in competition with anyone, but yourself)! If you are a manager, who on your team needs a boost of confidence? Deposit into their life today!
Day 4 (Thursday): “Go back to someone who comes to mind”: Trust me, you will know exactly whom to reach out to! (Feel free to reference “The One Thing you Must Never Ignore“)
Day 5 (Friday): “Stranger, no danger”: As you step out for your morning coffee, or wander over to the mall to get an outfit for the weekend, take a moment to speak to someone you don’t know. I’m not saying just pick any-ole-person! I’m saying If, for example, you see someone and you notice how fabulously she is dressed… tell her. Step out of your comfort zone and turn your gaze of admiration into a word of life.
Let’s make the next 5-day amazing! Will you join me?
Keep it uplifting and stylish,
A few nights ago, I asked Keem to pick up some water from the grocery store on his way home from work! Everything was great! We laughed on the phone, and I anxiously waited for him to come home to me <3! When he came through the door, I could tell something was bothering him. I happily greeted him, he kissed my forehead and set the table with the water and our dinner. We sat there in silence, and it was literally causing my pressure to rise. What was the problem? Was it me? What did I do?
I couldn’t take it any longer and as I began to ask him “Baby, what did I do to cause you to be so upset with me”, I could sense the Holy Spirit leading me to be still! In other words, He was letting me know to keep my mouth SHUT! This was a very difficult moment for me (like legit hard), but I managed to obey and I didn’t say a word.
Keem finished his meal, and excused himself from the table. I made my way to the bathroom to wash my face, and get ready for bed. As the face wash began to lather, Keem began to tell me that they moved everything at the grocery store, and the WATER was moved all the way to the back of the store! He expressed how frustrating it was to be in that store looking all over the place, when he intended to be in and out.
Can you believe that? Can you believe that his frustration had nothing to do with me? He wasn’t even mad or upset, he was simply frustrated with a situation for which he need “a moment”. If I had gone my way, and asked him “Why are you so upset with me” not only would I have been accusing him of being upset, I would have selfishly made it about me. The wording of the question, along with my agitated tone (Yes, I was bothered), would have made the whole situation worse.
Ladies, if you are married or in a serious relationship, do yourself a favor; take a moment to be silent and pray before you speak (especially during a conflict). It can literally change the entire tone of your relationship! Before you say what is on your mind, listen to that still voice and see what He is leading you to do. The enemy will do whatever it takes to cause confusion, and division in the lives of God’s people, (he is definitely attacking marriages), so we must be vigilant and heed the voice of the Lord! I know it is not easy! I am LEARNING every single day, and sometimes I get it horribly wrong! But thank God for His faithfulness, and for continuing to help me “restrain my lips”! I encourage you today; be wise, and allow Him to do the same for you!
The other night my husband picked up burritos from California Tortilla for dinner! YUM! He gave me a call to tell me he was on his way, so I began to prepare our informal dinner setting on the coffee table in the living room; place mats, coasters, silverware… the whole shebang! I marched to the kitchen to grab two plates from the cabinet, and happened to notice a gift box in the corner of our dining room. It was a wedding gift I had slightly forgotten about for the last two months.
See, what had happened was…
My husband and I received a lovely set of 4 Baccarat Diamant Champagne flutes as a wedding gift! They are simply gorgeous, and I vowed (to myself) to keep them safe until we moved into our own home and could enjoy using them in the most fitting of settings; New Year’s Eve in front of the fire place, our wedding anniversary celebration…etc.
Then it hit me…
Why should I wait? It was a gift given to us to enjoy together. And aren’t we together (ALL THE TIME)? Burrito night with bae was the perfect time! Even the card attached to the gift box said, “These are not intended to collect dust. Enjoy!” so I opened two of the beautifully wrapped glasses, poured a little bubbly and surprised my husband! We sipped like royalty! It was great!
How many of us are saving something for the “right” or “Perfect” moment! Maybe it’s an outfit, a special gift, a china set, a special wig, a lip color…the list goes on! I’ve said it before and it bears repeating… don’t wait, create your own occasion to put it to use! Break the rules! Do what makes you happy and enjoy the possessions you have! If you’re saving a special outfit… make dinner arrangements with your girls or your man, dress to the gawds, and take lots of pics! If you have a special set of glasses or a china set, pull them out of the breakfront, set that table and relish in the moment! Of course there will be times when you buy something for a very specific occasion, and I totally get it! However, if you have something that you’ve left untouched for months all in the name of waiting for the “right” moment… then I challenge you today, create “that” moment and simply enjoy!
Live your life and keep it stylish,
As I think of how my relationship has flourished over the past few years with my (now) husband, I can’t believe how wonderfully God orchestrated it all! If you know me, then you probably know the story of “how I met my husband”. If you don’t, then keep reading and enjoy!
It was October 2012. I was driving down 95 South, heading back to my place in Virginia. I just spend a lovely weekend with my family in Philly. As I passed through Delaware, the light drizzled that Glazed my car, turned into a heavy downpour! My car hit a puddle, and I could feel it losing control! It felt as if the entire world froze in that moment! I flew across 3 lanes, only to have the guard rail bring my car to a crashing halt! My Car was completely totaled… BUT GOD SPARED MY LIFE! I walked away unharmed and whole, and I am forever grateful for His protection! I had no idea that this was the start of a sequence of INTENTIONAL events that would lead me to my husband!
A few days later, I made my way back to Virginia and to the nearest Honda Dealership. As soon as I stepped out of my rental, guess who walked up to assist me? Arkeem! He was calm, cool, collected! Definitely not your average car sales consultant! I could tell that he wasn’t from Va, which was confirmed during my test drive when he told me he was from Savannah, Ga. Come to find out we both made our way to Virginia to start a new journey in life!
Although Arkeem and I had a great conversation, it was strictly business. I wanted to buy, he wanted to sell. Neither one of us was looking for anything further than a car deal; however, we managed to stay in touch. An email was sent here, a double tap on Instagram there… very minor exchanges! It wasn’t until February (February 23rd to be exact) when Arkeem took it to the next level and asked me out to dinner!
That dinner was the best first date I’ve ever had in my life! Our conversation was so natural and lively; No masks, no games, no pressure! I don’t even remember asking many questions, we pretty much eased into every thing you’d think to discuss on a “first date”. The tone was set for all of our moments together! It was the start of a beautiful friendship, turned relationship, turned marriage for LIFE!
Sometimes, when we go through tragic experiences in life, we tend to focus on the negative outcome and miss the actually opportunity to let go and let GOD BLOW OUR MINDS! Think about that… “Let go and let GOD BLOW YOUR MIND”! For me, a car accident set me up to meet my husband! What if I spent all of my time crying over the accident that I experienced and the car I lost, instead of focusing on God’s faithfulness and how He truly spared my life! My attitude/outlook may have caused me to delay (or even miss) my blessing! I can’t even imagine! I am truly thankful that in that season I chose to focus on His goodness, and that He prepared me (mind, body and spirit) to meet my wonderful husband.
I urge you today, no matter what has happened, focus on God’s goodness and watch Him work wonders. He is intentional!
*Photo Cred: Douglas James Studios
1. They stand by your side, hold you up, and get down and dirty to handle your light work…And actually have fun while doing it :-)
6. They know when to step in and dry that one tear, before your left eyelash flies off and lands on the minister notes! (too real)
7. They follow your lead, hold your dress as needed, and DON’T take your bossiness personal (for that one day)
9. They understand that your wedding is 100% about you and don’t mind at all!!
I am so blessed to have had such wonderful women by my side, who selflessly supported me on my special day! Thank you for the love and sacrifices you all made to be there for me! Love you xxoo :-)
-Stylreesta aka “Mrs. Dennis”
*Photo Cred: All photos captured and edited by Douglas James Studios
A few nights ago, my fiance and I decided to make dinner together! He started prepping the meat, and true to form, I stepped in to make the side dishes and add some finishing touches! We moved in sync, laughed out loud and spoke of our future together… It was the start of a wonderful evening!
Out of nowhere I became especially hungry, and started to nibble on a little bit of everything. I caught Keem’s
judging eye a few times, but I didn’t pay it much attention. It wasn’t until I popped open a bag of popcorn, that he became a bit tense and told me what was on his mind… “You know, I can’t stand it when you eat while we cook”. This caught me totally off guard, and feeling attacked I replied with something very unfair. After a few exchanges, I rolled my eyes, stuffed the popcorn into the cabinet, and we went back to cooking…in silence.
Once everything was ready, we placed our respective dishes on the table. We locked eyes, and before I had a chance to say a word, Keem grabbed my hand and said “Let’s pray over the food. will you bow with me?” I shook my head in agreement, and on our knees Keem prayed over everything, but the food! He prayed over our relationship, our future marriage, our understanding of each other, and his role as a husband. Tears streamed down my face, my mascara stained the carpet. I was completely and utterly overwhelmed! And it was on that dining room floor that God met us, and humbled us with His presence!
After the prayer, and after a very long embrace, Keem and I spoke about what happened. Turns out he really just wanted us to enjoy the meal together, and was bothered that I was “digging in” before we could even sit at the table. Made almost too much sense, especially since I made it very clear that eating dinner together is important to me. Ha! It was a miscommunication that may not have been resolved so quickly had we not taken a moment to refocus in prayer.
What was intended to cause discord, God turned it and used it to strengthened our relationship, not only with each other but more importantly with Him! Keeping God first, is more that a catchy hash-tag; It is an absolutely vital component needed to lay a SOLID (unmovable) foundation for a Godly and fruitful relationship! And it has to come from both parties involved.
Relationships aren’t always going to be “cookies and cream”! We will disagree, we will roll our eyes, but with God we are able to navigate through those not-so-sweet moments and come out with a better understanding of each other. It is most certainly a process, but through it we are determined to come out even stronger!
I’m getting married in 49 days!!
Keep is stylish,
Over the past week, I’ve been playing around with what I like to call a “protective style” for my relaxed hair. I’ve already committed to a lifestyle of only using heat on my hair once a week (and for a very occasional spruce up); however, I am working on “taming the touch”. I touch and tousle my hair way more than I need to (like a boss, clearly evident in the pic above, Haa ^-^), and I do believe this can lead to breakage. So, I found a style that stays in place and protects my most vulnerable, and frequently touched strands.
So, what do you think? I absolutely love it! lol! This style may not work for you, but I strongly believe everyone’s hair needs a break from time to time. Whether you are relaxed, natural or transitioning, our hair will always need care and attention for it to remain healthy! Whether you prefer braids, wigs, or twists, be sure to give your hair a little R&R from time to time and moisturize daily! Trust me, your hair will thank you, and be in good health :-)
Keep it stylish, and protect those ends girl,